with my beautiful daughters – Freea 33 and Zoe 34
♥LOVE NOTE – Saturday May 7, 2011
…..when my kids were little how I had a ritual that the last thing I did before I went to bed was to go and kiss them… and how sooooo sweet they always felt in their deep sleep….. how soft they were to touch…. how almost unbelievably beautiful and precious these beings were…..
And how this ritual continued well into their teens….. even though it meant taking ‘your life in your own hands’ to walk into ♡Zoe’s room in the dark having to weave through all her belongings she creatively
threw dispersed scattered flung over the floor – we made a deal that she would leave ‘a pathway’ to her bed…….
I also remember for ♡Zoe how her favourite bedtime story was Goldilocks and the 3 Bears and how her father ♡Russ and I had to take the part of the Mama Bear and Papa Bear while she was Baby Bear and how we had to tell that story over and over for what seemed like years….and how she…..and in reality we too, didn’t tire of it……….
And how a special ritual we had on Mother’s Day was for the family to do what I wanted to do and what I loved best was to go for a bike ride around the river in Perth and have a picnic at the grassy water’s edge on the foreshore at Matilda Bay…..
I’m not sure why this was a special treat for me, it just was…it’s interesting thinking about why certain things feel special….it was an hour from where we lived and loading up 4 bikes and us to get there took planning and we didn’t get to do it much…..maybe that is the reason ….not sure though….
Another ritual I love in our family is we all have teddy bears – mine is ♥GEM, ♡Zoe’s is ♥BEAUTY(pink bear in pic) and ♡Freea’s is ♥GREGORY (brown bear with burgundy ribbon)……..and there are many others as well…. and how our teddies are always with us and they all talk to each other as they can communicate over loooooong distances no matter where we are and if the girls wanted to make contact with me when we were apart or were feeling sad all they have to do is talk to the teddies and their teddy would let ♥Gem know and he would tell me and I could send a message back through him or find another way of sending them a big helloooooooooooo and a hug……….. 🙂
We are also a “Guess How Much I LOVE You” family…
We adore and love each other “right up to the moon – AND BACK”.
This book has been an all-time-favourite in our family and we usually end our writings to each other with some form of:
“….I love you all around the world and right up to the sky, around the galaxy, under the sea, over the mountains – love you all around the world to the moon and back…..”
I treasure the many walks and talks with my girls… in our family walking actually equals talking…. they always reaching for and holding my hand….. and my heart…which they still do whenever and wherever we walk together………And now there’s the technological ‘talking’ as well through msn, Skype and emails especially as we’re often in different countries….
I remember so many fun birthday celebrations; the Christmas rituals and surprises which often meant ♡Russ and I going to bed in the wee hours of the morning after spending many many hours wrapping and arranging things and then to be awakened early by their excitement; the Easter Egg hunts following cryptic clues that went all day long; holidays and adventures to many different parts of the world…..
…….the everyday growing and mastering of new stages and tasks……So many precious, cherished memories, of experiences, of adventures, of sharings – both at home at our beloved Warm Fuzzy Hill and traveling on so many journeys together.
So “many indelible moments” as ♡SARK, who’s on my list of favourite authors, would say.
Memories that feel so “sustaining” as ♡Pooh – another favourite – might add……
It’s interesting just sitting and reflecting and remembering and noticing which memories float up to the surface…which ones stand out….and what makes them stand out….
I think of when they turned 21 and I retrieve from my journal 12 years ago back in 1999:
With both the girls now having turned 21 and graduating, I recognized that I felt I had completed ‘a big job’ I had taken on…..that of the responsibility of parenting and educating my girls. I felt like I had ‘succeeded’! It seems odd to think that way. Looking at them and seeing what fine young women they are fills my heart with so much love, peace and joy. Some friends around us are having new little babes with all their wonder and preciousness and I look at these gorgeous little people and the journeys that lay ahead of them over the next 20 years and it feels HUGE. Parenting is such a big job. I am so thankful for my values of prioritizing my children’s needs and for the richness being a parent has brought to me personally. It’s strange to think and to notice what a release their tuning 21 and graduating is……I can’t really explain what that feeling is…. and just noticing how much a priority parenting at a “high” standard has been for me.
Also, thinking how the sort of parenting we do is directly related to the style of future, the kind of society, the kind of world we will have. How we have a responsibility to be all of who we are so we give them modeling and permission to be all of who they are. To learn to love ourselves more and more and more…..You know, maybe that’s one of the reasons we get given kids – so that as we learn to love them more and more our ability to love gets bigger and bigger…….
I don’t think parenting ever ends. And I don’t really know why their turning 21 and graduating signaled a big turning point for me in parenting. It just did.
Thinking about the successes and achievements… the laughter, the tears….the joy and the sorrow….all that we have been through together as a family….the births, the living, deaths…..
What makes for a successful life is important to ponder on…
What qualities or values do we want to teach and support and encourage in our children? As parents, as mothers we care that our children are living happy and fulfilling lives.
– Is happiness and success measured by how many distinctions, how many scholarships, what type of job or career we/they have?
– Is it about being caring and loving and being compassionate?
– about being authentic and real, having integrity, being accountable and respecting, being all that we uniquely are?…..
Lots of questions, many different answers….
Question for you:
What are the values and qualities that your mother taught to you?
As a parent what is/would be most important for you to pass onto your children?
A great Mum ( thank you ♡Faye) sent me an email yesterday about mothering and it touched me……and started me thinking about all the wonderful Mums I know…
(note that in Australia we most commonly use Mum/Mummy so for the international readers insert what word you use.)
“……. it is such a gift that there are so many remarkable Mums in our community…and thinking what a contribution they are making to their children and grandchildren and step-children and foster children and god-children as well as those who are teachers, nurses, doctors, social workers, counselors, child-care workers and so many other professions…….and all the children they daily influence……”
I think of both the fierceness and tenderness of women’s ‘mothering’ and ♡LOVE-ing, its sweetness and strength, their commitment, their investment of themselves, their giving in so many ways…..
Question for you:
What stands out for you that 3 women in your life have done that has felt mothering to you and has influenced you?
I encourage you to find some way of acknowledging and appreciating them for it.
May all who are mothers feel deeply appreciated and celebrated for ALL the fine mothering and ♡LOVE-ing you do…on this special honouring day as well as on Every Day….
And to my two gorgeous, extraordinary daughters thank you for loving me and making me into a “legendary ♥Mummy who is ♡LOVED so much…”
May all ♥LOVE and ♥JOY surround you, Susie♥
Life began with waking up and loving my mother’s face” ~♡George Eliot.
“It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men” ~ ♡Frederick Douglass