♥ DAILY LOVE TIP – Monday July 25, 2011
Today the conversation I would like to have with you is about ♥TOUCH and ♥HUGS…..I’m underlining the word conversation as I want to hear what you think and what you have to say……….:O)
In the Relationship Workshops that Shelton and I teach we say that there are 2 important things you need to do everyday in a ♥LOVE-ing relationship (of any kind) to keep it alive and vital. They are ♥TOUCH and ♥LAUGH. And it needs to be the kind of touch and laughing that both people enjoy. Today this post is about ♥TOUCH ….I’ll follow up another day on ♥LAUGH…..
We show this picture called “the Rescuing Hug” and tell the story of these babies to share about the importance of ♥TOUCH – in fact, to show more than it just being important – to show how crucial it is! I was delighted recently when I came across an article by Pastor David Dykes that told the story in full with all the details so I emailed and asked for permission to share it and he has agreed. I particularly value his paragraph at the end so I am going to repeat it here to emphasize it –
“We adults are often blind to the obvious.
Sometimes, it takes two premature infants to remind us of what kind of beings we are.
Through hugs and handshakes, smiles and squeezes, touches and tickles, kisses and cuddles, we honour and affirm one another.
This is not something we need to learn. Brielle and Kyrie knew this long before they were conscious of it. But it is something we may need to re-learn, and surely something we should never forget……” (my underlining)
Very succintly put this is an example of why we do the work we do. Being humans we are born knowing things instinctively about ♥LOVE-ing – both giving ♥LOVE and receiving ♥LOVE. It’s what happens after we are born being in the environments we grow up in that teaches us all the ways we turn away from ♥LOVE and are scared about ♥LOVE. This is why we need to be taught how to ♥LOVE...This is what we mean by Relationship Education. This is one of the reasons why we teach workshops!
Hugs ARE Better Than Drugs! by Pastor David Dykes
Somebody sent me the picture (see above) of two infants. The story sounded almost too good to be true, but I checked out the facts and discovered that it is an inspirational, true story about the value of affection. Much of this information was gleaned from a blog by Donald DeMarco, a seminary professor in Cromwell, CT.
Kyrie (red dot on diaper) and Brielle Jackson were born on Oct. 17, 1995, a full 12 weeks ahead of their due date. At that time the standard practice at the Medical Centre of Central Massachusetts in Worcester, where the twins came into the world, was to place them in separate incubators in order to reduce the risk of infection.
Kyrie’s birth weight was two pounds, three ounces. She gained weight quickly and slept calmly. Brielle, however, three pounds lighter than her sister, had breathing and heart-rate problems. The oxygen level in her blood was low, and her weight gain was slow. On Nov. 12, tiny Brielle went into critical condition. Her stick-thin arms and legs turned bluish-grey as she gasped for air. Her heart rate soared. The Jackson parents watched, terrified that their little daughter might die.
It is said that desperate moments call for desperate measures. Nurse Gayle Kasparian, after exhausting all the conventional remedies, decided to try a procedure that was common in parts of Europe, but virtually unknown in the United States. With parental permission, she placed the twins in the same bed. No sooner had she closed the incubator door, Brielle snuggled up to Kyrie and began to calm down. Within minutes, her blood-oxygen readings improved. As she dozed, Kyrie wrapped her left arm around her smaller sister. Brielle’s heart rate stabilized and her temperature rose to normal.
In due time, the twins went home. Their parents placed them, once again, in the same bed where they continued to thrive. Even after five years, according to mom and dad, the twins still sleep together and, not surprisingly, still snuggle.
The photograph of Kyrie hugging her little sister, dubbed “the Rescuing Hug,” appeared in both Life magazine and Reader’s Digest. It brought fame to the pair and spurred a growing interest in co-bedding premature twins, triplets, and quads. The University of Massachusetts Memorial, for example, has co-bedded at least 100 sets of multiple-birth preemies. Observing this practice over a period of five years, the hospital staff there have not found a single case of twin-to-twin infection.
Someone has said that we need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and 12 for growth. This may not be mathematically accurate, but it does illuminate a truth about human beings: “I touch, therefore we are,” is infinitely more revealing of human nature than “I think, therefore I am.”
Science tells us that hugging is healthy in a variety of ways. It strengthens our immune system, reduces stress, assists sleep, and is an antidote to depression. Researchers at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill state that cuddling with your spouse can be good for your blood pressure. Kathleen Keating may not tell us everything we want to know about the mutual benefits of hugging in her book, The Hug Therapy, but she does make it clear that hugging can be wonderfully therapeutic in a variety of ways for people of all ages.
We adults are often blind to the obvious. Sometimes, it takes two premature infants to remind us of what kind of beings we are. Through hugs and handshakes, smiles and squeezes, touches and tickles, kisses and cuddles, we honor and affirm one another. This is not something we need to learn. Brielle and Kyrie knew this long before they were conscious of it. But it is something we may need to re-learn, and surely something we should never forget.
So, as you head out into your world of people, don’t be asking yourself, “Who is going to hug me?” Instead be asking, “Who can I hug today?” Hugs are MUCH better than drugs!
~ April 18, 2009
Questions for you:
Is touching something you need to re-learn?
What has caused you to not be comfortable with touch?
What scares you about touch?
What ‘stories’ or interpretations do you make about people and them touching you?
What are your beliefs about touch?
What other questions come up for you about the topic of ♥TOUCH?
Happy exploring (and sharing about) this crucial topic, respectfully and with gratitude and ♥hugs, LOVE ♥Susie
Hey it’s also great to also give yourself a warm and embracing – what I call a ‘SARK ♥hug – as well anytime you need…..
“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out” ~Roy Croft