Zero Negativity ♥Zone – a crucial step to create success in relationships

DAILY LOVE TIP – Monday August 8, 2011


“Every positive thing you do in your relationship is foreplay”

John Gottman foreplay ipc

This is the wonderful saying they have on the T-shirts
on Dr John Gottman’s website.

How meaningful is that?
Like, you can’t get much more clearer than that, can you?

AND, says Dr Harville Hendrix, creator of the Imago Relationship Therapy model and author of a stack of many books on ♡LOVE, it is our job to create a Zero Negativity ♡Zone [ZNZ] in all our relationships.

ZERO negativityIt makes huge sense to me when both these two Masters of relationship research, theory and practice and with many, many years of experience make such powerful statements and are in agreeance that we unequivocally have to dedicate our lives to – developing and committing to living in a Zero Negativity ♡Zone [ZNZ]

nuclear free zoneI remember when I was in my 20’s way back in the 1970’s when people were strongly protesting and campaigning about Nuclear Free Zones and people were erecting signs at entrances to towns and all over the place.

Who remembers how much energy people invested in that back then?

And now I’m off in my imagination in a reverie of seeing Zero Negativity ♡Zone [ZNZ] signs all over the  place – entrances to towns, suburbs, houses, schools, workplaces…

Wouldn’t that be great? And people knowing what was meant by that.

Are you willing to emphatically declare and make a commitment to your relationships and your home as a Zero Negativity ♡Zone? [ZNZ]

Let’s support each other in creating that? Will you be in it?

The Communication ♥TOOLBOX/TREASURE CHESTCommitting to a creating a  Zero Negativity ♡Zone [ZNZ] is one of the ♡TOOLS in Our Communication  ♡TOOLBOX/TREASURE CHEST.

So find out what your partner/’the Other’ needs………., what says, “I love you” ………or what feels positive to your partner /’the Other’ and give it as a gift. Learn how to love your partner/’the Other’ in the way they want to be loved. That’s really the key.

For any relationships to succeed there must be a rich climate of positivity.

Before going back to talking more about Gottman’s Tips to transform any relationship I need to deviate here as one thing I haven’t mentioned yet is that

what is CRUCIAL and
NON-NEGOTIABLE –  And let me emphasize it again

with all the Tips, the Exercises, the Questions, the Mirroring Topics and Practise, the quotes. In fact, all that I write about in terms of changing your life and relationships – in my opinion it doesn’t matter:
– how many books you read,
– how many courses and workshops you do,
– how much counselling you do,
– how many blog posts you read
if you don’t put it into practice – in other words – ACTION.

You’ll just die more aware but your life won’t be very different. It feels very important to me to be very emphatically stressing this for people to create success.

ACTIONS u take create the RESULTS u get

The ACTIONS you take create the RESULTS you get

New habit

What we are about is creating new MUSCLES and new HABITS and new neural pathways.

“However many holy words you read, however many you speak,
what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?” ~ Siddhārtha Gautama.

So a crucial question you can ask each morning is what is one new ACTION can I do today to be more ♡LOVE-ing? At the end of the day check in whether you achieved what you set yourself…

A question I like to have handy is – What would LOVE do now?

Have a splendid new week of creating the life you want, ♥LOVE Susie.


Today’s Addition to my list of My ♥favourite things….. is stickers and stamps 

PS: Hey ♡Sylvia – I love your invitation to your friends on Facebook to join you in coming up with a List of A-Z of  My ♥favourite things… What a gift you are giving them!

About susiesheartpathblog

My aim with Susies♥HeartpathBlog is to connect and relate to you from my heart, mind and soul while sharing information and resources about conscious relationships, communication and ♡LOVE and FULL exuberant ALIVENESS…. My intention is to provide a space where you can engage with me and with the community of those who are ‘walking’ the ♥HEART PATH of conscious relationships….. people who daily make choices and actions about becoming and being more ♡LOVE-ing…….people who care that their partners and families and friends and the wider community feel ♡LOVE-d and lovable… people who are curious about and respect and validate the reality of ‘the other’ and who choose to create and live in a Zero Negativity Zone [ZNZ zone].... I am committed to teaching and sharing practical user-friendly communication ★TOOLS and Skills and processes that lead to growth and deep healing, connection, ♡LOVE and intimacy. I am a keen net-worker and committed to connecting people to the abundance of resources that are available. I believe much of what we need is out there, yet people don’t often know the resources are there or if they do where to find them. Putting people in touch with opportunities and possibilities is a high priority for me….
This entry was posted in ♥DAILY LOVE TIPS, ♥TOOLS, Communication, Communication ♥Toolbox-Treasure Chest, Relationships, ZERO NEGATIVITY ZONE ♥LOVE-ing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Zero Negativity ♥Zone – a crucial step to create success in relationships

  1. Pingback: Break-Throughs & Break-Ups happen every single day! | susies♥heartpathblog

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