♥ DAILY LOVE TIP – Wednesday January 18, 2012
♥Good Morning to yooooouuuuu,
OK so I get it!…..thinks I, rolling out of bed…words pouring out of me wanting to be written before they disappear…….and yet having a struggle with the part of me that is protesting and wants to stay in bed after being up late last night writing yesterday’s post,….. yet my soul is speaking to me and I have learned when that happens is a good time to listen…and, to receive……
I was lying there in that half asleep/half awake place with thoughts about two of my ♥Beloveds…..I started with one who is in a lot of pain at the moment and as you do…..or more correctly – as I do….. thinking of ways to be there for the pain for them – to find what would take away the pain – and I’m surprised as I find my thoughts going down the path of thinking about how one very big style or way of being of this person is that they don’t have an active practice of Gratitude, of saying “Thank You”….On the surface they do but deep down they don’t……
…..Then I drifted to thinking of another person close to me……you know that kind of free-associating-type-of-thinking where your mind just wanders like ambling *•.¸¸¸.•*¨¨*•.¸¸¸.•*•♪ღ♪¸.•*¨¨*•.¸¸¸. and meandering……. down a slow-moving creek …..and I realized they too don’t have an active practice of saying “Thank You”….and one of the things they notice and criticize is people not being generous…….and how they usually push themselves forward to be first in line for whatever is being offered ….and thinking back to the first person they also have the energy of whatever you give them it is never enough….
And then next……Yay!…*•.¸¸¸.•*¨¨*•.¸¸¸..•*¨¨*•.¸¸¸.•*•♪ღ♪•* my thinking and noticing was on ME……and An Epiphany! – A LIGHT BULB MOMENT! – A L.B.M. ! for short……. I am not good at receiving and taking in people’s appreciation and gratitude – Yes, I do it at that surface intellectual, head level …….I say ‘the right words’…….but inside at the soul and heart and energy level I am really S-Q-U-I-R-M-I-N-G…….. and it isn’t allowed inside my body ….. and I really get that there is no accident that these ♥Beloveds are an important part of my life….
Then my thinking meanders to a comment from a client yesterday that went something like – Susie, you really don’t know how good you are at what you do….if anyone is going to get to my husband, it’s you……and saving her marriage is what this woman is committed to……. and supporting and coaching them how to do that is my job and my commitment as well…..And this takes some more S-Q-U-I-R-M-I-N-G to write…….. I do KNOW, with their co-operation, how to do that.
And I think of another long term client who would regularly at the end of sessions deeply appreciate me for the insights and healing that he had experienced….. who one time said he didn’t feel that I was taking in his acknowledging and valuing of me…..and asked me to mirror back what he had said…. which I did through my logical, literal self but I can see and feel now that I didn’t and wasn’t able to do it through my heart and soul energy……
Oh how so very impossible it is to take in what we don’t have receptors for….it’s like when people do give, it just bounces off – like water off the proverbial duck’s back….or another immediate image that comes to mind is like trying to put coins in a metre that is jammed or full and won’t take anymore…..
So how does this happen?….Are some people just born good at taking in things and others not, and that is the way it will be for their life? No fortunately. With awareness and insight, emotional processing and repeated intensive practice of the new behaviours change happens…..
What I experienced as I was growing up was I overheard my mother telling other people what a good girl I was and how I worked hard, but she didn’t tell me…..
So what the child part of me interpreted from that and was thus wired to believe
1) I am good but it is not OK for people to tell me and,
2) That is how ‘the world’ will treat me
The child through repeated interaction with their ‘care-givers’ and the people around them creates a self-image and a world-image…
And then next Epiphany – I’m really getting why I have been struggling with what I have perceived as limited amounts of comments and it also explains quite a few other things in my life…..All because there has only been a very small receptor in me for receiving them….And one thing I notice happens, or maybe we could say it is the way the universe works or an ancient spiritual law or the like – what is written on our souls / on our T-shirts is what we get…or as is loosely quoted in Law of Attraction and Creating your Own Reality literature – what we put out is what we get back!
“The universal Law of Attraction states that we draw to us those people, events, and circumstances that match our inner state of being…….”
So mine reads differing versions of – don’t give to me; don’t thank me, acknowledge me, etc and as well…….wait for it – I’m thinking there’s another level – It’s not only that we are not wired for it and we don’t have the receptors….it is like we are allergic to those very things we long for the most and are not experiencing we are getting!
And, it is interesting for me to reflect and notice that my Beloved daughter ♥Freea has always been so generous and bighearted in her appreciating and valuing of me …..it’s so wonderful how our kids are given to us to teach us so many of the things we need to learn….she has always been so innocently and creatively forthcoming and I do take in that I am her Super Duper Awesome MUMMY (and legendary too! :O) – and I have boxes of her abundant cards and drawings and notes and the many treasures and gifts she continues to surprise me with…….like this one….
Looking back through some old posts I have touched on this theme many times….and I have felt like my cry has fallen on ‘deaf ears’ – it is more like I have been deaf to hearing what has been given to me!!
[And this ♥TOOL is like one of those SIGNS you see – BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY]
Do NOT underestimate the power of our unconscious to create our world – in fact, NEVER underestimate it…..
So briefly, THE STEPS are:
1. Notice what is showing up continually in your life in the people in relation to you – especially the things that trigger, frustrate or irritate you or that you judge and criticize
2. Know whatever irritates, triggers, frustrates you (and especially if you criticize and judge it) is about YOU.
Take the example of a client phoning yesterday who is still in the final stages of divorcing from his wife and is distraught because the lady he has had ‘a fantastic relationship’ with for the last 11 months has decided she doesn’t want to be with him anymore and who, like his wife, has not prioritized him in her life throughout their relationship….You take YOU with you wherever you go. It is not about them. It is about YOU. I say you enroll the people that matter to you to give you whatever is wired in you. If he doesn’t heal and change that message inside him he will attract another woman who will do the same!
3. So if you don’t want it to be repeating in your life then YOU have work to do. It’s the same as you don’t send your partner to the dentist because you have a toothache. The difference in the Imago work is that you do your work in relation to your partner and that is the quickest way for you to change your behaviours and your life and there is always a growth edge for them as you learned in ♥ DAILY LOVE TIP – Saturday January 7, 2012 S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-N-G & S-Q-U-I-R-M-I-N-G & getting precious ♥needs met
4. And the work to do is to go back and uncover the links to your childhood conditioning and to cut the emotional ties to the default beliefs and resulting behaviours in you…..knowing there is probably several layers to go down through so it may come up over and over in different forms for a while till it is cleared……….
I think I’ll leave it there now and share how I see this is what the Law of Attraction is all about in another post and introduce you to the teachings of a lady that I value – Lynn Grabhorn.
So I am throwing myself open to the universe as I need lots of practice in taking in – so universe bring on the ACCOLADES! – the tributes, the compliments, the praise, the honouring, the rave reviews,…..and all of the 8 A’s!!!! YIKES! Oh my gosh what have I put out here? Dare I leave this paragraph in????
Question for you: what has been an important epiphany for you and/or what has been your greatest epiphany? Share with a ♥Beloved or journal about it….
I do want to say that one of the greatest gifts in receiving is that it offers ‘the other’ the JOY of giving which feels so good, so in not receiving you are denying them that opportunity!
So ♥Folks, my heartfelt thanks again for reading and holding this sacred space for me as I grow more fully into who I really am…..
‘When in the dark, go lightly (Lindy Capelli’s motto). When in the spotlight, go humbly. When in the light, go thankful. Choose joy.” ~ some wise words from Glenn Capelli today