Before you speak ♡T.H.I.N.K! Stop yourself being reactive and unkind

LOVE NOTE – Sunday January 29, 2012

Hello Treasured and Valued Ones…..♡

I have just found this amazing THINquote and we have decided to adopt it as a new ♡TOOL in our Communication ♡TOOLBOX/TREASURE CHEST.

What a great list of questions to ask ourselves to clean up what comes out of our mouths….The challenge is engaging our brain to ask the questions ‘in the heat of the moment’!! 🙂

Stopping horrible, mean, nasty, hurtful, reactive, attacking, snarly, abusive, criticizing, sarcastic, unkind words… in fact all the SCABS  [a quick review for the Graduates of the work – test yourself before looking.]



By THE SCABS we mean:

C-riticism, C-ontempt, C-ondescension, Comparing
A-ttacking, A-ggression, A-ccusing, A-rrogance
BlamingB-elittling, B-ullying, B-arbs

It’s just such a continuing task….. You know all those words that you wished you hadn’t said when you’ve calmed down.

I don’t know about you but I need help with this one…Jumping in to protect myself using strong and loud words which are emphasized with TONE and harsh face is so hard-wired in me it just takes over against all my resolves and good intentions. It is embarrassing to own up at my inability to stay conscious and ♡LOVE-ing all the time.

How do you stop yourself being reactive and unkind?

You know I’m sitting here having a fantasy of finding a DEVICE which we could attach/insert into our mouths which our words would go through and it would eliminate all that aren’t TRUE , HELPFUL,  INSPIRING , NECESSARY and KIND.

All the ones that are negative and horrible.

Maybe it could be a bit like braces or a mouth guard, …..maybe with a magical salve or a computer chip in them and it would delete or eliminate any words that don’t fit the format….. or maybe again we could just take some sort of

MAGIC  ELIXIR or POTION♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸ ¸¸.•*¨*¸.•*¨`* 

OR  CALL  OUR  DEAR  OLE•*¨*•.¸¸♥ 

FAIRY GOD MOTHER with her Magic wand •*¨*•.¸¸♥

or take a daily  VITAMIN KBe KIND VITAMIN  …….. or maybe wear a MUZZLE that doesn’t even let us open our mouth.

Or just plain old masking tape or duct tape.

Any you can think of?…….Hey let’s help each other here.

What do you do that helps you to stay ‘conscious’ and kind and ♡LOVE-ing? Any great tips??? Ones that work so that you actually use the ♡TOOLS.

Hope you’re getting the message that I don’t think overriding and replacing those old protective/defensive responses that are our default way of behaving is something that is going to happen easily…..

In fact, let me UNDERLINE IT – it is NOT going to happen easily…….we need all the help we can get!

Several of the participants in the Getting The Love You Want” Imago Couples Communication Workshop this weekend really appreciated THINK as a practice to support them to create ♡LOVE and connection and the ZERO NEGATIVITY ♥ZONE  [ZNZ!]… it encouraged us to add it to our ♡TOOLBOX.


One of my favourite parts of the Workshop is giving the couples the ♡TOOLBOX with the various ♡TOOLS and teaching them how, when and where to use them. It is great that the ♡TOOLBOX is  a work-in-progress and there are so many talented people out there coming up with exciting ideas all the time.

It’s such a joy to have creative user-friendly Resources that work that make a difference to people’s lives and ♡LOVE-ing.

Question for you: Share with a ♡Beloved whether THINis a ♡TOOL you would like to experiment with practicing in your relationships – either using it yourself or requesting ‘the other’ – your partner/child/parent/co-worker/friend – to use it.

♡MIRRORING TOPICShare with someone what this post brings up for you, triggers in you, how it impacts you and have them ♡MIRROR you for a minimum of 5 minutes. Then swap and you ♡MIRROR their sharing.

See HERE for a review of the skill of ♡MIRRORING

Here’s another version of THINK you may prefer.

The following touched me recently so I thought I would “borrow” it:

Just the simple act of you sharing this post with a few people could have a profound impact on hundreds, or even thousands of people who you will probably never even meet.
How cool is that?

Thank You in advance for doing your part in helping make the world a better place☺

Here’s to lots of THINK-ING going on…..appreciatively & with Much ♥LOVE & BLESSINGS, Susie♥ 

“When we are angry we are blind to reality. Anger may bring us a temporary burst of energy, but that energy is blind and it blocks the part of our brain that distinguishes right from wrong. To deal with our problems, we need to be practical and realistic. If we are to be realistic, we need to use our human intelligence properly, which means we need a calm mind.” ~ ♡Dalai Lama

About susiesheartpathblog

My aim with Susies♥HeartpathBlog is to connect and relate to you from my heart, mind and soul while sharing information and resources about conscious relationships, communication and ♡LOVE and FULL exuberant ALIVENESS…. My intention is to provide a space where you can engage with me and with the community of those who are ‘walking’ the ♥HEART PATH of conscious relationships….. people who daily make choices and actions about becoming and being more ♡LOVE-ing…….people who care that their partners and families and friends and the wider community feel ♡LOVE-d and lovable… people who are curious about and respect and validate the reality of ‘the other’ and who choose to create and live in a Zero Negativity Zone [ZNZ zone].... I am committed to teaching and sharing practical user-friendly communication ★TOOLS and Skills and processes that lead to growth and deep healing, connection, ♡LOVE and intimacy. I am a keen net-worker and committed to connecting people to the abundance of resources that are available. I believe much of what we need is out there, yet people don’t often know the resources are there or if they do where to find them. Putting people in touch with opportunities and possibilities is a high priority for me….
This entry was posted in ♥LOVE NOTE, ♥MIRRORING Practice, ♥Positive & Inspirational Quotes, Communication ♥Toolbox-Treasure Chest, Question for you, TOP Posts on Relationships & LOVE♥, ZERO NEGATIVITY ZONE ♥LOVE-ing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Before you speak ♡T.H.I.N.K! Stop yourself being reactive and unkind

  1. Patti says:

    We have similar themes on our blogs today! I like the THINK tool.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Susie: I love how well you put this topic together! So helpful but also entertaining and kept my attention! You could write a book! Thank you for sharing on BBTL.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Welcome ♥Amy. I so appreciate you taking your time to come visit. It means a lot to me! Thanks muchly for your encouraging comment. Wow! – write a book…. What sort of book where you thinking I could write? Please tell me more……and an invitation to come visit often. Susie♥


  3. Shelton says:

    Bravo for finding this quote. I will put it into practice with you. Love, S

    Liked by 1 person

  4. sarcha thurston says:

    Hi Susie.
    May I please adopt you as my FAIRY GODMOTHER.
    Sometimes the content of posts really arrives in my inbox with incredible serendipity.
    Today I needed every word on that page.
    Love Sarcha

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Good Morning ♥ Sarcha dear One♥ ✿•*¨`*• .•*¨`*•✿. . . ✿•*¨`*•.•´*¨`*•✿♥
    Splendid!!! You are now officially adopted as my ♥ FAIRY GOD CHILD on this first day of February!! I accept this position with all the sacred rites and responsibilities attached to it 🙂 *♥*.♥ •.¸.•´♥. ♥
    Imagine me and my Magic Wand tapping you on the top of your head and on each of your feet and sprinkling magic, glittery, glistening, sparkling, shimmering fairy dust ALL over you…..[That’s one of the rituals we do to officially adopt FAIRY GOD CHILDREN] Oh what Fuuuuuuun we will have!

    On my 50th birthday I had a Fairy Queen Ball and I was the Fairy Queen and that was just the BEST fun! Let us have a Fairy GodMother Party when we come back from India to commemorate this truly auspicious day…….
    Don’t you just adore serendipity….that is in the ♥TOOLBOX of Fairy God Parenting you know
    Much ♥LOVE your Fairy GodMumSusie♥
    PS: Did you know that February 1st is a particularly gooooood day to be adopted – especially in this auspicious Year of the Dragon….Any others wishing to be adopted as well????
    ♥ ✿•*¨`*• .•*¨`*•✿. . . ✿•*¨`*•.•´*¨`*•✿♥ *♥*.♥ •.¸.•´♥. ♥


  6. Me! Me! I want some magic fairy dust too! And my birthday is February 2 which is an even more auspicious day for fairy befriender-ness to occur. Because here in the states it’s GROUNG HOG DAY, which is a high holy day for …umm….something good. I’m sure. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh ♥Susan Sweetums, YES you too – much magic fairy dust *♥*.♥ •.¸.•´♥. ♥ to you¸¸.•*¨*¸.•*¨`*ི♥ྀ-
    You are now deemed an officially adopted ♥ FAIRY GOD CHILD 🙂
    Yes, such a wonderful auspicious time for fairy befriender-ness to occur…..definitely a high holy day for …umm….everything good……
    •*¨*•♫♪ ░H░A░P░P░Y░ (¯”•.¸*♥♥♥* ¸.•”¯) ░B░I░R░T░H░D░A░Y░ ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*¸.•*¨`*ི♥ྀ░T░O░░Y░O░U░♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ May it be sprinkled with much Fairy Magic and Miracles….. and all things sweet and splendid and bliss-full and precious……!!!
    Love to you, Fairy GodMumSusie♥


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