♥LOVE TIP – Wednesday May 2nd, 2012
Helloooooooooo dear FRIENDS♥
……from Mackay airport where we have just found we have an unscheduled hour delay. We are flying to Sydney to pick up our connecting flight [AND another unscheduled hour wait] and then back home to Perth…..So instead of just going Ugh!! and getting stuck into my new Jodie Picoult book let me see if I can write a post, thinks I?……
My apologies for being out of contact for this last week……and would you believe it’s now already MAY!…… We’ve been “on the road” and no time to check in and post before we left or since we’ve been travelling as we’ve been working very long and FULL days.
Our first stop was in SYDNEY for 3 days at the Business Blueprint Conference – April 2012 with the legendary and inspiring Dale Beaumont. We were filled with all sorts of practical information and wisdom to expand and grow our business to be even more exceptional and to support our ♥Biggest DREAM and VISION to halve the divorce rate in Australia by the year 2015. There’s lots of exciting developments and NEW expansion and growth going on for us right now which we’ll be sharing over the next month….as well as asking for your input so that we can be assured of being of the best service to all we come in contact with!! Best way to stay connected to us regarding this and all our upcoming events and new programs is by becoming a Fan by ‘liking us’ on our Institute for Relationship Development Facebook page….. A sneak peek into our changes is our new business name. Tahdah!…… drum roll!!!! It’s ♥LOVE-Relationship Matters.….what do you think?………
In Mackay I’ve just come from having the privilege of working in a way I value most highly which is doing an Intensive with a family in their home for 3 days.
It included working with a couple who’ve been separated for the last 5 months and each of their 3 children separately – 2 girls; one 13 and the other 4 years old and a boy of 10 and then to coach as each child shared their needs with their father. As well I worked with the wife and her mother; her brother, firstly on his own, and then with her and their mother as well as his wife; and the husband’s cousin and her newly married daughter of 3 weeks who came to support the family for the weekend. My only contact prior to this visit is with the wife who I have been working with for three months via phone sessions. How amazing it is that this woman’s desire and commitment to create happiness and security for her children has rippled out and touched and created healing in so many lives!!!!
So hugely transformational and healing! My intention is to offer 1 Intensive per month and welcome inquiries. Same as with Mackay I am willing to travel and because of our extensive travel schedule we are going to be in many parts of the world over the next year. It feels important to share about this here as few people have experience or understanding of this way of working and processing and the exceptional benefits to be gained.
As a Therapist and Coach specializing in Relationships and Family Systems and with a commitment to helping couples to create Strong Healthy ♥Families that are the most nurturing and safe Haven for all who live there it is such a thrill to have the opportunity to work with so many aspects of the system that a family is. And to work ‘on their terrain’. Can you imagine the possibilities for growth and healing when so many people are involved and participating?
A family is a system and we are all part of a family system. It is only part of the picture to just look at individual dynamics. For deep and lasting change to happen one needs to explore and uncover how the family system got created and how it developed and how the different parts of the system influence you and impact each other.
We included an Introduction to our model of relationships which includes ♥KEYS to creating an ★Extraordinary, ★Exceptional and ★Exciting life-long relationship. This is a synthesis of information from many different teachers and models of committed relationships and includes 3 of our favourite approaches which are Imago Relationship Therapy by Dr Harville Hendrix, Dr John Gottman’s work and Dr Susan Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy. We include teaching about:
♥what is really going on in committed relationships.
♥how our unconscious actually chooses our partner based on our history;
♥are you in the most loving and happy relationship that you can dream of? If NO! then…..The Actions you take creates the Results you get. So you need to check out your Actions and replace them to get different Results.
♥the STAGES of a healthy marriage/committed relationships and how and why many relationships breakdown and split up in the Power Struggle before the breakthrough into what we call Reality ♥LOVE;
♥how underneath all Conflict and reactivity and triggering are unmet needs from childhood and how the very things/behaviours we most need and want from our partners will be the hardest for them to do and that in S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-N-G to do these very things is Healing for them and Growth for us and vice versa;
♥we react in habitual protective patterns when we feel threatened and unsafe. And these patterns trigger the wound and survival patterns of our partner which creates A Cycle of Reactivity…….. The things one does to protect and defend themselves in conflict will be the things that most trigger their partner who will then defend and protect themselves in ways that will further trigger ‘the other’ and increase the disconnection and ‘moving away from’ each other. We use the symbol of the Turtle to represent in general ‘the one’ who typically withdraws and tends to withhold feelings and thoughts and the Crocodile for ‘the one’ who tends to express their feelings in an attacking way and goes after ‘the other’…..
♥the enemy is the PATTERN
♥we teach how to replace this with a Cycle of ♥Positivity;
♥The basic foundational ★SKILL is the INTENTIONAL DIALOGUE – MIRRORING, VALIDATION, EMPATHY.
Happily ever after…….. hardly ever happens unless we LEARN how to do it! We call ♥Relationships – the 4th R of Education! A strong message we teach is successful relationships and parenting don’t just happen. EVERYONE needs to learn how to create them and to learn the right ♥TOOLS and ★SKILLS.
It’s about ★SKILL POWER and not will power. We need to be taught and then ★PRACTISE, ★PRACTISE, ★PRACTISE the same as with fitness, health and career success.
One of our new developments we are excited about is that we are going to offer this as a webinar and/or e-course so anyone will have access to it. Let us know if you are interested and we’ll send you the details.
And now it’s 1am and Yay! we’re HOME!!…and just finishing off……Would be great to have you leave a comment about what stands out for you…….
Much ♥LOVE and may your Relationships be a safe Haven that provide the space to grow your precious spirit, Susie♥