♥LOVE TIP – Saturday June 23rd, 2012
Hello dear Friends♥
”When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive
– to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.’ ~ Marcus Aurelius
My brother ♥Malcolm, two and a half years younger than me at 59, died at 5am this morning.
This is a brother who kept very much to himself. A very private man.
Who learned to protect by staying silent.
Who learned to stay safe by disappearing inside.
By being very selective and opening his heart to the few that he gave ‘the password’ to….
I give thanks for and honour his life, for the paths he has walked, the choices he’s made.
For the life he chose….this man who was a brother, son, cousin, husband, son-in-law, father, father-in-law, step-father, uncle, grandfather, friend, mate, work colleague, neighbour……….and so much more…….
I wanted to share how I am doing. I have felt your support and ♥Love.
I am grate-full for your caring and kind prayers and blessings.
Right now, these words are what’s in me….
Where did you go?
Where are you now
What’s it all about?
Why are we here
Questions with no answers
Thoughts with no response
I’m sitting here pondering,
sitting here wondering.
I just don’t get how you can be so alive
be breathing, be flesh, be soft, be warm,
then so dead, so silent, so un-alive.
So deadly still, so hard, so cold,
like a statue, so lifeless, so un-moving
Yet I wonder how can this stillness, this quietness
roar so loud?
I can’t make meaning of it, of you being dead
I can’t make meaning of us being alive
I can’t make meaning of who is now lying in the bed
I can’t make meaning of me trying to decide
No amount of teaching and messages wake us up like personal experience.
I was sitting with ♥Malcolm late last night, he sedated and unconscious labouring with each breath, us told there would not be many more till it would be his last breath…….. and I was thinking about recently reading of the tribe where the pregnant women go out and listen for the song of their unborn child which they go back and teach to the tribe….which is then sung at their birth, and their marriage, and all other significant times in the person’s life up till the time it is sung when they are dying…….and I was reflecting on what is ♥Malcolm’s song…..What came to me is ♥What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong….. which I sang to him over and over and will now remember him by………I love the idea of people being sung to as they die…….♥
Wake up before you get a wake-up call is ‘the lesson of the day’.
boy, son, brother
The words below are part of a poem I wrote back in 2001 which was 22 months after the death of my last partner ♥Russ and 7 months into my relationship with ♥Shelton….
Wondering and pondering, with ♥LOVE from a perplexed and questioning and inquiring and ‘thrown’ Susie who is also feeling peace-full ♥