I CAN’T DO IT! Please make my Life-Default-Setting HAPPY :)

LOVE TIP – Wednesday October 9, 2013.

Greetings Dear People-out-there

It is taking a lot of guts to write this post –because it is saying STUFF that doesn’t feel …..well NICE. And CONSCIOUS.  And EVOLVED.

I am ‘supposed to be’ someone who is accepting and positive and kind and supportive and caring and ♡LOVE-ing and understanding and EVOLVED and _______________insert a Thesaurus-full of those types of words…

Yet I don’t care what you think! Well part of me doesn’t!……. S-Q-U-I-R-M…..

I‘VE HAD ENOUGH.  ENOUGH of all those posts/quotes/beliefs/ about what you put out you get back / the law of attraction stuff /create your own reality stuff / you can heal your life / the answers are within / your higher guidance will guide you / positive affirmations / you reap what you sow / the universe responds to energy-emotion  /  all that we are is the result of what we have thought / it’s only a thought and a thought can be changed /blah / blah / blah and more BLAH

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

All that sort of STUFF!!

How many bloody times do I have to think /say the positive stuff before it ACTUALLY manifests? Before it STICKS LIKE VELCRO. So that it doesn’t come unstuck…. so that is my primary way of thinking and language? So my life is HAPPY and POSITIVE. It feels like I’ve been learning a foreign language FOR YEARS and YEARS and YEARS and MORE YEARS but NEVER becoming fluent in it…..not being able to change the DEFAULT SETTINGS.

AND I DO ALL, well A-LOT-OF, THE RIGHT STUFF – like listen to Louise Hay 101 POWER THOUGHTS in my car every time I get in it – God I’m sick of how stupid some of those are!!!…… And the Happiness STUFF and the Positivity STUFF and the Inner Child STUFF and the conscious Relationship ♡LOVE-ing STUFF and the_______ STUFF, and the__________STUFF……….

And I EFT tap, top of the head, tap eyebrow point, tap side of the eye, tap tap tap tap tap tap tappity tap and then do it again tomorrow and then the next day again and again and again – REPETITION changes the brain…..they say….THE BRAIN CAN – NO DOES – CHANGE….they say…..AND I’m still on the same ole issues…..that are still sneaking and lurking about!!…..

And I read and study a truckload of POSITIVE authors /articles / books /posts /web-sites EVERY DAY. YES EVERY frigging DAY!!! As much as any nun in a convent would the Bible…..

And I scour Facebook and other sites looking for positive affirming quotes /sayings /posts a number of times each day as well as reading those posted by what seems like a trillion others, posting POSITIVE THOUGHTS/SAYINGS.

And I visit people’s pages and sites and blogs and take an interest in what is important to them and make positive comments or connect with them about what they are saying…

And I spend thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars on this and that motivational / educational / inspirational / Workshops / Retreats / Courses / E-courses / Trainings AND I CAN DO IT conferences!! – And do you know what – I am still doing it! – And I still haven’t learnt how to do LIFE yet!!!!! Haven’t found the Answers. The Way.

It isn’t working! I CAN’T DO IT!

AND I hear and see you self-made ones who Have GOT THERE – You know the New-Age-Success-Stories – you’ve fallen to the depths of despair and then you get hit/blinded by the light and bit-by-bit you climb yourselves up out of your misery and hopelessness and doldrums and out of your financial, marital, health or emotional or whatever bankruptcies because you have now seen THE LIGHT. THE WAY. You now KNOW THE WAY. And then you turn that into teaching THE WAY to the Un-Knowing.

And all you had to do was fail and descend to the depths of despair and heal yourself and you’ve got what it takes to make a 6 figure income and THE REST.

While we others, or at least just ME, are out there STILL saying affirmations, tapping, visualizing, slogging away at ALL-OF-IT….

You are commiserating. Yet mainly you are thinking IT DOES WORK. All I’ve got to do is flick the switch. No holding back. You’re thinking that I must NOT be choosing. Thinking I’m saying I-CAN’T when it is really an I-WON’T!

Do You Know what? – I AM WILLING. Please Universe / God / Great Spirit / Higher Guidance / Goddess / Buddha / Allah / Dalai Lama / Yoda / please make my Life-Default-Setting HAPPY 🙂

But then again I don’t do Yoga. I don’t do Meditation. I don’t do Acupuncture. Maybe that’s what I’ve got wrong. Maybe that’s the ANSWER. OR……

glow-worm

This post is part of a BRAVE BLOGGING link-up that’s part of ♡Liv Lane’s How To Build a Blog You Truly Love E-course…Yes another E-course to make me better-than-I-am. The assignment-invitation-challenge was to step outside my comfort zone and share something with you that feels BRAVE. I am done.

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About susiesheartpathblog

My wish with Susies♥HeartpathBlog is to connect and relate to you from my heart and soul and mind to your heart and soul and mind …..whilst sharing information and Resources about ♡LOVE-ing and Relationships and FULL exuberant ALIVENESS★…. My intention is to provide a space where you can engage with me and with the community of those who are ‘walking’ the ♥HEART PATH of conscious relationships….. people who daily make choices and actions about becoming and being more ♡LOVE-ing…….people who care that their partners and families and friends and the wider community feel ♡LOVE-d and ♡LOVE-able… people who are curious about and respect and validate the reality of ‘the other’ and who choose to create and live in a Zero Negativity Zone [ZNZ zone].... I am committed to teaching and sharing practical user-friendly communication ♡TOOLS and Skills and processes that lead to growth and deep healing, connection, ♡LOVE and intimacy. I am a passionate net-worker and committed to connecting people to the abundance of Resources that are available – I believe much of what we need is out there, yet people don’t often know the Resources are there or if they do, where to find them. I love putting people in touch with opportunities and possibilities….
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36 Responses to I CAN’T DO IT! Please make my Life-Default-Setting HAPPY :)

  1. Susie, when you figure out that default setting, let me know :).

    I’m practicing every day. I think practice is the path. Diligent practice. I’m doing it with you. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sure will dear Susan♡…..as long as you promise when you get there you let me know 😀 Yes diligent practice is good AND….
      there HAS TO BE a celebration of ARRIVING, thinks I……
      I don’t want to just practice forever…….Does that make sense?♡

      Like

  2. One more. Life Default at Happy is so good, Susie. Might as well be happy through what ever shows up.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Linda Watson says:

    Oh. My. God. I love you. I really, truly, do love you. lol I sometimes think if I seen one more of those infernally happen posts on Facebook or one more person smiles and hugs me at church, I’ll scream. EXCEPT. I’m way happier, and my life works way better and I’m way calmer, with actual times of peace quite frequently and my marriage is so wonderful it sometimes scares me. And this has all happened since, 30 years ago or so I started doing affirmations, meditations and art from my heart. Maybe that’s what really sucks – this stuff works. In spite of me. LOL

    So very glad to connect with you. I

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda Watson says:

      I’m replying to my own post because I got so excited typing, that I made several typos – should be: I sometimes think if I SEE one more of those infernally HAPPY posts . . .

      Liked by 1 person

    • Great to have you visit and share your wisdom Linda♥
      And yes I agree I’m way happier, life works better, I’m calmer, more peaceful……this stuff does work!!!!…I just sometimes get stuck in wanting it to be quantum leaps and leaping tall buildings in a single bounnnnnnnnd….faster than a speeding bullet…type of style…. 😀 ………….especially when I’ve been doing it for at least 40 years!!!!! And not just for me but for my clients and the world!!……….
      And yes, I am very happy to connect with you Linda, much LOVE♡

      Like

  4. Shawn says:

    Susie thank you for your honesty!!! I hear you and I feel you ❤ Sometimes we have to just ALLOW all things to flow through us no matter how ugly, depressing, pathetic, sad they look to ourselves or others. Part of being human on this journey is to allow everything in life to show us what it wants us to see. 😉

    We tend to compare ourselves to others and I know that most people are not comfortable sharing their pain or their vulnerability with others so they keep it private. I on the other hand share it OUT LOUD because in doing so, others can see that it's ok. Everything we experience is meant for US and maybe we can't even see the reasoning behind it at the time but it doesn't matter. What is important is that we allow ourselves to FEEL and CONNECT with it all. 🙂 It's all trying to come home within each of us in balance and harmony. If we repel and push away the yukky parts or the parts that others may not want to see, then we deny a part of ourselves.

    SO it's not about doing meditation, yoga, or all those things you mentioned you could do but don't. 🙂 I am NOT someone who is into disciplined meditation but I do meditate all the time. It's called walking meditation or be-ing meditation. I can be washing dishes and be in far off lands. I can be walking along the road and be in far off places. 😉 WE all find ways that our soul needs to connect but unfortunately there are tons of people who think they have the answer for us all. As in one TRUTH. NO SUCH THING!!! 😉

    As you know I haven't felt well in a long time and I find myself fully aware of how I appear to others or so I think but even that is none of my business. I find myself sounding or appearing like a drama queen or choosing to be in drama. No I am not choosing drama. 😉 I am simply sharing my experiences of being human all the while accepting that I am experiencing this discomfort for some unknown reason and I embrace it all the while loathing it. 🙂 I can laugh about it, cry about it, get angry and do all kinds of things. All those are OK. I am learning to accept all aspects of myself in FULLNESS and accepting both the light and the shadow sides is part of coming home and bring us back to the still point. This is what I am learning now in all this stuff coming my way. It seems ridiculous at some point but I can see each day that the unfolding of it all is PERFECT and actually most magically layed out. It's not fun but I can see the purpose. 🙂

    Each person is here for their own journey home. 🙂 It's within each of us and it's time for us all to go within and also to reach out when we are able to and share our authentic experiences. 😉 IT's not necessary to do this outward though as everything we do to love, accept, understand and show kindness to ourselves this affects everyone and everything even if we never say a peep to anyone. Each of us is here for a purpose and they are each unique and why we can't compare. 😉

    I'm sorry this is so scattered but I am tired. There that is my honesty. I love you and you will find your way and guess what??? It will come in the most perfect way for YOU and you will know what that is. No one can tell you or plan it for you. It's a gift that unfolds at the right time. 😉

    I love you!!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear generous, big-hearted soul-friend Shawn♡
      I ♡LOVE you too. Thank you for being you and for your wisdom and your kind and generous sharing of your authentic experiences……You make sense.
      I especially like your “I am learning to accept all aspects of myself in FULLNESS and accepting both the light and the shadow sides is part of coming home and bring us back to the still point. …..the unfolding of it all is PERFECT and actually most magically layed out. 🙂 ………
      Yes each of us is here for a purpose and they are each unique……
      Thank you for popping into my life as you do at the perfect time each time…….
      Sending healing and LOVE and gratitude♡

      Like

  5. Lisa Ziazan says:

    I agree that most people just hide the stuff they don’t want other people to see and just put forward the positive. I have struggled with lots of health issues over the years and also gone through my marriage break up this year. I have never felt so alone and judged! Like I didn’t have enough ‘positive thoughts’ to keep my life flowing ‘happily’!!! and that I should just want a better life more and then it will just happen. But crappy stuff happens to everyone and you can’t always feel good about it, that’s part of why we are here on the planet. I feel that many people distance themselves from others who are having a hard time with health, relationships, money etc. because they feel that ‘negative’ stuff will impact on their happiness and their life but the life lessons are to be had in moving towards helping others and embracing all aspects of the human experience. I too am trying to be more honest about how my life really is, while still embracing an over all positive attitude to life and looking to a future when things will not be so hard. I can see that every twist and turn is teaching me something and that there are gifts in the worst possible moments of life. I agree not always fun!!! I am sure I read somewhere that Martin Seligman of the positive psychology movement was talking about things in life that don’t necessarily give him great happiness but they give more meaning to his life. I often wonder if the ‘new age success stories’ would feel so great if they hadn’t gone on to sell lots of books etc and they had to do something more mundane to support themselves and their families. The real success in life is that we keep getting up each day and getting on with life in the face of sometimes overwhelming struggle. Susie you are doing amazing things with your life that give great value to others and you are an imperfect wonderful human being!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Lisa♡
      I so appreciate you taking the time to visit and comment so fully and authentically.
      Sounds like you have been going through such hard times….
      And I’m so sorry to hear that you “have never felt so alone and judged!” through all this.
      ♡Lisa it sounds to me that you are being “a real success” in that you are keeping “getting up each day and getting on with life in the face of sometimes overwhelming struggle….”
      And thank you for being “honest about how your life really is, while still embracing an over all positive attitude to life and looking to a future when things will not be so hard.”
      I so wish that happening for you SOON……. 😀
      Thank you for your beautiful acknowledgement.
      Sending much ♡LOVE from this “imperfect wonderful human being” to the “imperfect wonderful human being” you are!! I look forward to sharing more♡

      Like

  6. Pam says:

    What a very truthful and brave post, Susie! Here’s the secret. Nobody has it all figured out. We all just find a way that works for us, on most days. The other days we fake-it-till-we-make-it or we just forget it and crash a little.
    I certainly haven’t figured it all out, but my own personal click was to pay attention to gratitude. Some days I get so caught up in being so dang grateful for stuff that I forget to be crabby. And somedays I can’t think of one single thing to be grateful for. Those are the days I zone out on the couch and watch Duck Dynasty 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello ♡Pam, kick-butt-BRAVE-blogging-buddy…… 😉
      ♡LOVE and agree with your “own personal click to pay attention to GRATITUDE”….
      One of my personal best crabby shifters too…..
      And I am so thankful that I am a born ♡LOVER of BEAUTY – especially all things beautiful in Nature…and living at Warm Fuzzy Hill where I am surrounded by Nature I can’t go a day without being grateful about something/lots-of-things beautiful – particularly NOW at Springtime-blossoming time…..
      This theme runs through a lot of my posts – one post about this I wrote a year ago you might like to check out is – training my brain to look for the positive; for the good♥

      Thanks for being here and sharing your secret and reminding me of my ♡LOVE and delight for Nature and Beauty♡

      Like

  7. Is it bad that you made me laugh?
    lots and lots of love Catriona xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • My dear ♡Catriona, oh course it is BAD I made you laugh!! 😀
      BUT you are exonerated if you ROFL – that is Roll On Floor Laughing…[in case you aren’t up with the times!!…but with ♡Maddy around I imagine she will keep you up with the latest…]
      Thanks for visiting and reading and laughing and commenting and your lots and lots of love. It all matters! LOVE you lots♡
      By the way it makes me laugh lots too!!! 🙂

      Like

  8. I really enjoyed this post, Susie, and I too laughed as my heart opened to you. Thank you for your truth. xo, Mary.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Suzi says:

    The fixer in me reckons give up looking for it on the internet and get out and live – I don’t know about default settings but on the whole I am happy and that is a great place to be. I try not to overthink it just be grateful for everyday and everything – keep it simple. all stuff I think you taught me!!!!! Good on you for being brave

    suzi

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello and welcome Suzi-fixer♡
      Great points/reminders – give up looking for it on the internet, get out and live, be grateful for everyday and everything, keep it simple.
      Wise teachings hey …… 😉 You are such a clever student / teacher dear ♡Suzi… THANK YOU. LOVE Susie♡

      Like

  10. Susie, there were times in your post when I cringed in recognition and times when I wanted to yell out, “Amen, sister!” I think that there are no standard answers. We each just have to discover the personal answers that are right for our hearts — and chances are good that no one can ever create the book/seminar/dvd/pin/workshop/advice/affirmation/fix-it shop that will do what only our own hearts can do.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Erin Warhol says:

    Love your passion! I heard about a friend of a friend, who had experienced terrrible tragedy…. said, she was a lot happier, when she accepted that she would never be happy again. Kind of a paradox, huh?
    I enjoy reading what is flowing out of you… keep on flowing!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Erin♡ for the reminder of my passion. That’s a part of me that is strong and just who I am. I’ll keep on flowing and being passionate about whatever……..
      I feel sad to think of the lady you mention accepting she would never being happy again….that wouldn’t work for me…..
      Yet it is all good food for thought…here’s to passion and happiness and flowing….and LOVE♡

      Like

  12. Nicole says:

    I loved reading this! I really wish I could write with this much passion. It seems that you’ve really found your voice and your personality shines through this post. Keep writing! I can’t wait to read more of your passionate posts!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Nicole♡
      Welcome to my blog and thanks so much for visiting and leaving me the beautiful ♡GIFT of your comment – I feel so inspired and encouraged by it to go and write more “passionate posts” knowing that you “can’t wait to read more”…..
      And I’ve just visited your beautiful new blog and brave post and – Wow to me that is passion and inspiration so I am not sure what you mean when you say “I really wish I could write with this much passion”. You do!!
      Thank you for telling me to “Keep writing!” That is important to me. I will and I’m going to keep visiting your new home on your blog….and every time I do it will keep reminding me to write and I’ll keep reminding you of how you write with passion.
      LOVE and gratitude, Susie♡

      Like

  13. Terrie Abildgaard says:

    Dear Susie thanks for your honesty and love that enables you to share so wholeheartedly. You are an inspiration to so many-me included. I think you have already ‘made it’. Much love Terrie xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello dear friend Terri♡
      WooHoo 😀 – what a wonderful Acknowledgment!
      I am inspired and touched.
      Glad that is how you see me….I’ll take it on board and I am especially moved by you seeing me as having already ‘made it’…..and that I am sharing so wholeheartedly – what a great word and what it connotes…..
      I appreciate you and your ♡LOVE in oh so many ways, sending a big Hug, Susie♡

      Like

  14. Angela Dadds says:

    Fabulous! Best, funniest, most honest blog post I’ve read in a long time. Take a bow and have a cup of tea Susie xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi ya Angela♡
      I am taking a bow and having a cup of tea.
      ACCOLADES galore you are dispensing dear lady…… I hereby accept the Award for the Fabulous! Best, funniest, most honest blog post you’ve read in a long time.
      Let’s drink to it 😀 …..Relieved and delighted to receive your tribute.
      How great to hear from you.
      Hope all is well in your world, LOVE Susie♡

      Like

  15. Shelle Hill says:

    This post rocked it out of the park for me. I too seem to see all these other people “making it”. And then there’s me. It’s every where, Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram. Homes are perfect, baking is perfect, their kids are perfect. Not me. My cake from the box that said “super moist” was dry, stuck to the pan like I used Super Glue and the frosting melted down the sides and off the cake. Their cake looks like it belongs on the cover or whatever popular baking magazine is out there. And yet…there is something inside me that keeps making my kind of “happy” cake because somewhere out there, someone will enjoy a piece. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Shelle♡
      “rocked it out of the park for me” – what a description – I LOVE it!
      What a gorgeous picture you paint. Thank you for making me laugh 😀
      AND It is SO good that you keep making your kind of “happy” cake because A BIG YES there are plenty of someones out there who will enjoy a piece. ❤
      Great to have you visit here and share – thank you! Let's visit again 🙂 LOVE, Susie♡

      Like

  16. Wow, wow, WOW Susie…way to let her rip! I bet that felt so great because it certainly made me feel that way reading it 🙂 I hear you! Sometimes I feel like I’m cursed… when it feels like I’m on a hamster wheel of personal/spiritual development. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know what I do know about visualizing, creating, manifesting or even conjuring up a dream life with a dream relationship happening in my dream house because it certainly doesn’t appear that I’m “there”. However, when I get to the place of thinking and feeling that way, I know it’s time for me to unplug. Period. I realize that when I am so busy visiting all of those external sources….books, workshops, conferences, FB pages, blogs, etc. that I have to be careful to make sure I am doing so in order to stay fueled about being motivated and positive. That I go into the activity with a cup that is at least half full. If I’m doing it because I am seeking answers about my life, then I get super cranky and filled with confusion, overwhelm and occasionally a sense of defeat. I think it’s because if I’m seeking answers externally, I unconsciously get filled with ideas from others of what my happiness, my dream life, relationship and house should all look like. And then the comparison/perfectionist inner devil child tries to shame me into feeling bad and believing I’ll never get there. In all actuality, I am already there. I just had to stop listening to and taking in what everyone’s version of “there” is. It’s too confusing. Too noisy. And drowns out my own sweet little inner voice who tries to tell me how happy with the way things are. Perhaps you’re “there” too. Or at least more “there” than you realize 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Hi Stacey♡
    So great to have you visit here. I so appreciate your thoughtful and generous sharing. Lots and lots to ponder…..
    And full of great images – a feast for one like me who is very visual –
    “Sometimes I feel like I’m cursed… when it feels like I’m on a hamster wheel of personal/spiritual development.…”
    “….the comparison/perfectionist inner devil child tries to shame me into feeling bad and believing I’ll never get there…”
    Thanks for making me think about all the points you share about….
    I imagine your “own sweet little inner voice” is a delight to listen to♡
    And YES I own up to feeling “there” too……at times….. 🙂
    My ‘crankiness’/annoyance comes from not being able to get to a place of proficiency where ‘we-have-arrived’ and it is easy “sailing” from then on…..bit like once we learn to drive a car after we get through the clunking-the-gears, bumping-and-backing-into-things, etc to we can drive smoothly to now we can drive for a distance and sometimes don’t even remember we are driving…….
    And I will KEEP remembering your wisdom to go searching “with a cup that is at least half full”….and I’ll keep connecting into your writings to remind me.
    LOVE and gratitude, Susie♡

    Like

    • I am smiling so big as I read your response Susie 🙂 So grateful to be on this journey with you!

      Liked by 1 person

      • The image of you laid back in your big chair ‘smiling so big‘ delights me ♡Stacey and Yes it feels like a special journey ahead with you for me too……. I’ve already got an idea for a post with “a cup that is at least half full”….from your comment…..Would like you to check in with me from time to time to see whether I’ve remembered to write it if you would…. ♡

        Like

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