diving deeply into grieving….the sacred process of ritually saying Goodbye♥

LOVE NOTE – Thursday March 6, 2014

grieving

Dearests

I apologize for neglecting posting here on Susies♥heartpathblog. Two facts have contributed to this. Firstly, I made a commitment to do a post every day for 2014 on the 365 Day Being-♥LOVE-Zero-Negativity Campaign Group Facebook page which I share about here and secondly, my life has been thrown into much turmoil and upheaval and chaos since the bush-fire 7 and a half weeks ago.

Yet at the same time WooHoo!! I celebrate me as it is ★Day 65 today and I have done ★65 posts on the Facebook Group page!! Only 300 to go!! 😀 ………. I really do appreciate myself for honouring my commitment / intention of posting daily……….Gosh it has been a BIG struggle some/lots of days, but I have persevered and stuck with it for a number of reasons….the biggest ones I think are because I have declared my intention publicly and also that the Facebook Group are beautifully holding and supporting my intention.

It is awesome how much energy and accountability declaring your intention publicly adds to any goal /intention. If you haven’t tried this already I recommend that you do a little experiment and publicly declare an action that you are setting yourself and keep reporting in with an Accountability Group or buddy about how you are going……….friends1

 

If you are looking for an Accountability Group you are very welcome to join the 365 Day Being-♥LOVE-Zero-Negativity Campaign Group if you would like to be part of a beautiful group of ♡LOVE-ing souls with big ♡hearts who daily inspire and support each other to be all they can be. Request an invitation to join HERE

 

Honouring my commitment has been a wonderful experience for me as firstly I do feel sooooooo good when I honour my commitments……..and as well, one of my intentions for this year is writing and doing a post daily…….  On top of this having to write has created a structure for me and some sense of “normality” and routine in my upside-down and roller-coaster world…….and it has been a good medium for me to share about some of the angst of the long, hard often painful days….. 

What I did originally intend to do was to post both there as well as expanding and adding to some of the topics here on the blog. What usually happens is that I get to the end of a full and tiring day that often feels like it has been eons loooooooong……..and I write my post for the 365 Day Being-♥LOVE page quite late at night before falling into bed half asleep………..with little or no energy to come over here to the blog and write some more…..To overcome that what I have done tonight is write here first 🙂 …..Finally!!

Recording my experiences about the bush-fire and the devastation and death of our home is important to me……actually somehow it even feels crucial! The big advantage of having it on the blog feels like I am much better able to archive it all here….and it is open for all whereas the 365 Day Being-♥LOVE Group is a closed Group…….A big wish for me is that as things settle into more of a “normal rhythm” I will have the time to do both the 365 Day Being-♥LOVE page as well as the blog AND be able to transfer some of the more significant posts of January from the 365 Day page over here to the blog. That is my intention and yet things returning to “normal” seems like a very long w-a-y off STILL………..so I choose not to weigh myself down with making a definite date for when this will happen……..Keep a look out for posts that are back dated between now and 12th January…

My “flip-out” in the last post feels momentous to me as does the responses I received….. please know I am grateful for ALL of you and I feel you as ALL part of the journey even if you just show up silently……… it is special to know you are visiting here and checking in and hearing me and getting me……….being gentle and ♡LOVE-ing with me……….soothing me…….all in your own unique ways…….helping me to grieve and let go of all that was precious and cherished by me………… and standing with me in spirit as I take very little baby steps toward creating a new life and memories. Thank You……… your ♡LOVE and caring is precious……

As I wrote in my post I feel broken-♡hearted, broken at the soul-level, broken at my very essence…….broken and in pain…the sorrow and melancholy is deep and aching and tender and sore……
I feel so grateful that I was able to honour those aching places in me……..it reminded me of how I got through the grieving time after ♡Russ died………by diving deeply into the pool of grief and mourning…..

The morning of the day ♡Russ died we had alerted our community of family and friends that he was close to death and people were arriving at Warm Fuzzy throughout the day……. and when he died at 4pm the preparations were in place for us all to gather together for an all-night vigil from dusk to dawn in the tipi he built…….with many different people leading a range of farewell and honouring rituals……..which was such an intense and precious night of ♡LOVE and respect and celebration and mourning and grieving……

The next morning arrived and with it the funeral directors……and the “real” gut-wrenching Goodbyes……… not sure whether we would ever physically see him again……

What I learned about grieving was the more deeply I dove into it the more the healing happened……I had an epiphany the first time I was feeling my grief alone after his funeral and cremation ……what I did was gather up all the ‘things’ that reminded me of him and us……the cards, the letters, the photos, the special gifts and mementos, his clothes with his smell still in them and I had them all spread out in front of me in our room and with our favourite music playing……and I would just dive into the pain and ♡heart-break of missing everything about him and cry. and cry. and cry. with big heaving sobs….so so deeply that I thought I might die it was so intense…

Yet what I realized was that there was a part of me doing the diving into and there was another part of me just observing it all like a silent witness holding it all….it felt like that part was there to keep me safe and hold it all…..and it did……over and over again each time the grief would well up in me until I had cried all the tears that were inside me till I felt cleared and at peace……and could function…….. until it would all fill up again and I would have to go and cry them out again…….it became a very sacred process of ritually saying Goodbye to everything about him and our life together…..and my need to do it got less and less as time went on……

It feels like this is a good template of how I need to say goodbye to our home at Warm Fuzzy Hill……definitely made more difficult as there is no safe space that is mine that is left to go do this grieving in and certainly very little left of the treasures that remind me of our life at Warm Fuzzy….As I am describing this I see I am needing to get creative at setting this up…..
I will……♡

On December 31st some of you will remember that I wrote on my blog “I choose 2014 as the Year of LOVE♡ – to REALLY experience life through the lens of ♡LOVE….. to be a ♡LOVE-Finder…….I see growing my ability to ♡LOVE and be compassionate as the very strong and essential purpose of my life…..to remember that I am ♡LOVE, that we all are ♡LOVE and that is what we are here for……”

I am open to continue walking and exploring the path of Being-♥LOVE …..yet right now 2014 feels like the Year of Destruction and Devastation and Displacement…… I do feel surrounded by and held by the ♡LOVE of you all and many others…… yet at a very core level the loss and pain is overriding it…………Yet I am willing to accept the challenge of continuing to walk the ♥heart path with grace and ease and support……..

LOVE and Gratefullness, Susie

Embark on the Journey of ♡Love
                   It takes you from yourself to your self. ~ Rumi♡

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About susiesheartpathblog

My wish with Susies♥HeartpathBlog is to connect and relate to you from my heart and soul and mind to your heart and soul and mind …..whilst sharing information and Resources about ♡LOVE-ing and Relationships and FULL exuberant ALIVENESS★…. My intention is to provide a space where you can engage with me and with the community of those who are ‘walking’ the ♥HEART PATH of conscious relationships….. people who daily make choices and actions about becoming and being more ♡LOVE-ing…….people who care that their partners and families and friends and the wider community feel ♡LOVE-d and ♡LOVE-able… people who are curious about and respect and validate the reality of ‘the other’ and who choose to create and live in a Zero Negativity Zone [ZNZ zone].... I am committed to teaching and sharing practical user-friendly communication ♡TOOLS and Skills and processes that lead to growth and deep healing, connection, ♡LOVE and intimacy. I am a passionate net-worker and committed to connecting people to the abundance of Resources that are available – I believe much of what we need is out there, yet people don’t often know the Resources are there or if they do, where to find them. I love putting people in touch with opportunities and possibilities….
This entry was posted in 30 DAY BEING-LOVE♥ CAMPAIGN, ♥LOVE NOTE, BUSHFIRE Destruction & Aftermath, GRIEF & SORROW♥, Warm Fuzzy Hill and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to diving deeply into grieving….the sacred process of ritually saying Goodbye♥

  1. Hi Susie,
    I have only recently opened and read your blogs because at the same time you lost your home to those terrible bush fires, my father died while I was in Tasmania. Since returning to Perth I have had so much on my plate in terms of arranging the funeral, paperwork and supporting Mum in her grief. I was not in a space to reach out to anyone at that time myself.

    However you and I seem to be moving through our grief in similar ways although I realise your circumstances are tragic beyond comprehension. I was speaking with someone I know who works with ABC radio and told her about what you were going through and that I felt that most people who are unscathed by the fires have all gotten on with their lives, unaware of what you and others who lost everything are still going through. Patti thought this would be a good topic to bring up on morning radio and have people like yourself either talk about their journey of recovery but also the shock and pain that is still so real. She felt people should not take their lives for granted and that we should remember those who are living with the shock and pain everyday.

    I do hope you don’t mind but I gave her your email contact details and Patti will probably call you to speak with you. Deep down I am hoping that in bringing this to the fore again, might help raise some money for the victims of the fires. Of course, if you choose not to speak to her that will be respected.

    From my heart, Susie and to Shelton as well, I send my deepest sympathy to you. I just cannot imagine what it must be like for you at this time to have lost so much. I can also understand your sentiments in not wanting platitudes about moving beyond this and beginning life again. You know that deep down anyway. Just know this was a senseless tragedy that should never have happened.

    With love and warm wishes, Chris

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Chris♡
      It is so good to hear from you and receive your deep and tender heartfelt sympathy for our tragic loss.
      Please also feel my ♡LOVE coming to you at this painful time of grieving for your ♡father….I remember being touched by your sharing here on the blog a few years ago when “he learnt that yet another of his old friends had passed away. He has no friends left. Instead of being sad, we both stood up and danced around with our arms up high like a V sign (for victory) and we said, “I am still alive”, ” I am healthy”, “I will live a long life”. He loved it! and it was a joy to see his face so happy. I felt great that I came up with that idea to help him….” [20th June 2011]
      I’ll always remember that story and your ♡LOVE for your dad……

      I do appreciate you sharing our story with your friend ♡Patti from the ABC and agree very strongly with “most people who are unscathed by the fires have all gotten on with their lives, unaware of what you and others who lost everything are still going through……”

      I also agree with “She felt people should not take their lives for granted and that we should remember those who are living with the shock and pain everyday….”
      And as well as it being important to bring this topic up to share with those not having gone through the devastation and loss, I also think it important to keep speaking about it for those whose homes and lives have been destroyed.
      I was only last night sharing with a friend who lived nearby in Stoneville who also lost her house in the fires and she was saying how lonely she feels and how hard it is as most people expect us to be over it and putting it behind us when it hasn’t been 3 months yet and our houses aren’t even demolished yet!!!

      I haven’t heard from ♡Patti so please do encourage her to be in contact….
      And YES you got it – “this was a senseless tragedy that should never have happened”!!! Amen! With gratitude and hugs and LOVE, Susie♡

      Like

  2. Your opening graphic and quote is so powerful. Yes! Each of us grieves in our own way and in our own time. Way to go honoring your intention to post daily. I’ve found being accountable to others helps me to keep showing up. Love to you! k

    Liked by 1 person

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