♥LOVE NOTE – Tuesday, November 11th, 2014
Which I certainly am NOT right now!
GRATEFUL FOR IT ALL•*¨*•♫♪♡….
1. I am grateful that I am actually here at the keyboard typing, as right now even contemplating writing my daily 5 Things I Am Grateful for seems
so phony. false. fake. not genuine. and most inauthentic…
This is because all the biggest part of me wants to do is scream loudly
how damn shitty IT ALL IS!
And then go beat myself up for being so damn ungrateful and unconscious, or better still thinks An Evil Part…..
Why don’t we just dump it all over and beat up ♡Shelton instead who is the closest in range?
And really?? Why hasn’t he been able to fix all this already anyway?
He’s a Man, isn’t he?
Uh Oh, then I’m starting to think of the people – all four of you – who may read this, and after all you’ve done to faithfully support me…… And all I can do is be cranky and grumpy and groaning and complaining and foul mouthed….and criticising, judgmental AND sexist!!
WARNING – Achtung!! D.A.N.G.E.R Ahead!…
Proceed with Caution!
It all feels just so H A R D and I’m so dumb I can’t think S MA R T E R.
I hate it so much!
I’m whining and whinging and saying it again in gigantic and technicolour words
I DID. NOT. SIGN. UP. FOR. THIS!!!
Why is Everything, and I mean EVERY thing!! soooooooo H.A.R.D?
Let’s build a house and/or renovate the Owl House which is the sole building that survived the January Blazing Inferno at Warm Fuzzy Hill……
Sure, can’t be that hard!…. Ha Ha 🙂
I’m NOT a builder or trades-person of ANY description! NO I AM NOT!
Certainly NOT a carpenter, cabinet-maker, architect, designer, plumber, electrician, concreter, tiler, plasterer, wall-renderer, joiner, roofer, glazier, painter and I could go on and on and on and on_____, ______, _____, _____, _______,_______, _______.
AND then NOT forgetting to add that other dimension of it being solar-passive and eco-friendly and ALL that! Of course…
L .I.G.H.T. BULB Moment!
Let’s BUY!! That can’t be so H.A.R.D!!…..
Fantasizing and letting my imagination run riot:
– how my clothes would fit into madam’s built-in robe,
– sitting in that spa bath by candlelight,
– waking up looking out on that view,
– making the most delicious meal and entertaining guests in their fancy dining al.fres.co area,
– sipping green smoothies dipping my toes in that crystal clear pool water…
AND wondering how anyone in their right, or wrong, mind would choose that combination of colours of tiles / wall paint /floor coverings / curtains / kitchen cupboards / etc, etc…
Thinking how many things am I willing to compromise on just so I have somewhere, anywhere to live…
Then there’s another suggestion.
What about a Caravan, Motor-home, RV?
And do you know how many different ones of them there are?
Seems like t.h.o.u.s.a.n.d.s!
Initial excitement at the freedom of it turned to more H.A.R.D. Work in a day or two…..because it quickly became Another-Version of More-That-I-Don’t-Know-About and would need to learn for that to be An Option.
I’m getting E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D just writing about it allllllllll ….no wonder I feel tired all the time!
There’s plenty more I have on my plate but do you know what…..it was releasing me somewhat to write. Well it has stopped me feeling angry! But now it is just feeling strenuous and arduous, as I am imagining it is for you too, so enough!
I do write too as I also like to give some REAL sense of all there is for me to deal with rather than just showing The I Can-Do-It Days…….but I’ll have to do another installment another time.
For my other 4 Things I Am Grateful For – I am Grateful for 4 people who I imagine will read this – ♡Gaelia, ♡Lisa, ♡Natalie, and ♡Emily. Thank you. And if you don’t, I am grateful for you anyway ♥
Sorry for being dreary and grim and bleak and tedious. Truly wishing all that is good for you.
♡LOVE from a desolate and dismal Susie…
NOTE TO SELF:
“You must find the place inside you where nothing is impossible….”
Well today ♡Deepak that feels NOT possible. I am wondering if I missed out when those places were handed out Uh Oh!..
Oh, and on this auspicious day of the 11th of the 11th we got our eviction notice for where we have been staying!
It is reeeeeeally time to move on and forward……..and choose something.
♡♡DAY 315 – Being-♡LOVE-and Being-Grateful for it All – only 50 more days to go! WoW!!