♥LOVE NOTE – Sunday December 28th, 2014
50 WEEKS P.F. [Post Fire] today and only 4 more sleeps till the end of this truly unforgettable year of 365 momentous Days………. a year I will remember forever!
Goodbye to 2014. Hello 2015………
I do intend to write more soon to share my own personal reflections of the challenges / trials / hardships as well as the blessings and my releasing of 2014……I will do this especially as a way to honour the 1st Anniversary of the destruction of our home and life as we knew it on January 12th.
We have been “on holiday” in Victoria for the last 4 weeks and it feels like the Next Stage Post Fire started as soon as we left Warm Fuzzy Hill and Western Australia on the 30th November. Writing hasn’t been high on my list of things to do over these weeks for many reasons, yet I have been making notes and brief posts on the 365 DAYS Being-♡LOVE-and Being-Grateful for it All Facebook page that I intend to expand and post here on Susies♡heartpathblog…..I have been amazed by some of the realizations that have surfaced for me over this month and some significant insights about my whole recovery process……..
Yet for this post, my focus is on offering a Practice to do around the New Year that some people include as a ritual / custom /tradition in their life and relationships in much the same way as many work and business environments traditionally do annual performance reviews.
The New Year is traditionally the time of the year when people think about:
– completions and new beginnings
– what to keep and expand and grow in their lives
– what to let go of and release that no longer serves them….. behaviours, feelings, beliefs, opinions, ways of being, habits, attitudes, relationships, etc….
With the reminder that fantastic years and fantastic relationships and Happily. Ever. After. doesn’t just happen by chance!……..
what do you most want to create and experience in your life and relationships in 2015?
And what life and ♡LOVE lessons did you learn in 2014?
What sort of rituals do you do at this time of the year? Do you have any rituals of completion and closure and celebration and releasing of the past year and rituals of intentionality and creation for the New Year?
My intention right now is to open up this topic and to stimulate and inspire your thinking……and growing and creating…….
Maybe you do A New Year’s Resolution List and / or create A Vision Board for 2014? Wondering what you will be putting at the top of it………
Will it include doing what it takes to make your wife, husband, partner, children, friends, family, the people who matter to you, feel more ♡LOVE and cared for?
……being the best partner you can be?
Do you know these things don’t usually figure very highly in most people’s Top 10!!
And it is very important it is not just in words, but in ACTIONS!
The ACTIONS you take create the RESULTS you get
The Practice I am offering is adaptable to any relationship, and as well you can do it on your own by writing your answers in your journal if you are single or your partner won’t do it for whatever reasons……
It is the Relationship ♡Cherishment Review……
Referring to http://www.vocabulary.com/
To cherish something is to care for it deeply, to treasure it, like the way you cherish the time you spend with a favourite person you don’t see often.
DEFINITIONS OF: be fond of; be attached to
SYNONYMS: care for, hold dear, treasure, have a great affection for; feel tenderness for…..
The most transformational way to do the Relationship Cherishment Review is to have ‘the other’ really cross the bridge into your world and ♥MIRROR you and be willing to ask you a few “tell me more” on each question……in other words take some time to really answer each question…..and then for you to swap positions. My suggestion is for each question to be answered by each person and then move onto the next question rather than one person answering all the questions first.
For a review of ♥MIRRORING see –
Create an environment to do this that best reflects your own connection and style…. Make a date and set it up in any surroundings that works for you both and some things you might like to include are ‘your’ music, candles, an altar, blessings, prayers, food, a glass of wine……….whatever invokes an atmosphere of ♡LOVE and respect and reverence for you both.
Agree to the length of time and specific format that you will use. If you are not used to long talks limit your time to an agreed upon amount that is closest to the minimum time either of you put forward.
Another way to do it could be to focus on 1 question per day beginning January 1st. Best to choose a fixed time for your sharing …….maybe with your morning coffee or in the evenings……whatever fits in with your schedule and routines…..
It works best if you come prepared having reflected to some degree on the questions yet that is not absolutely essential. A reminder that most people do prepare to some degree for a Annual Work Performance Review……Also set it up as an experiment if you haven’t done something like this before and just be curious and open to exploring and repeat what works……
The idea to do this is to create more joy and to deepen your connection and ♡LOVE and cherishment. As is noted in the ♥MIRRORING post this is not the time to share your frustrations and resentments. If negatives keep popping in best to get the assistance of a good relationship therapist/coach and to regard it as a great step to deepen your ♡LOVE and valuing for each other.
The following are a sample of the kinds of QUESTIONS you can focus on. There are a variety of others you could add. The focus is generally “What do you think went well this year?” and “What could I/we do to differently next year to improve our connection and ♡LOVE?”
What precious memories do you have from 2014?
What precious memories would you like to create in 2015?
What life and ♡LOVE dreams came true during 2014?
What helped you to feel ♡LOVED and safe in 2014?
What would help you to feel ♡LOVED and safe in 2015?
How did you see me grow in 2014?
In what ways would you like me to grow in 2015?
In what ways would you like to grow in 2015?
What did you learn from me in 2014?
What would you like us to learn in 2015?
How did I add to your life in 2014?
How would you like me to add to your life in 2015?
What do you want to give yourself in 2015?
What do want me to give you in 2015?
2014 was the year that…………………………
2015 will be the year that………………………
Any other questions you would add?
What would you add / delete to improve on this as a learning and connecting experience for you?
What are the questions that feel like a challenge to you?
Which questions helped you to uncover / discover the most?
I’m interested in your comments of what the impact is for you – of reading this and as well when you do it……please do share……
Happy uncovering and discovering and cherishing, LOVE & blessings, Susie♡