♥LOVE NOTE – Tuesday September 27, 2011
Questions for you: Is this true for you?
When you look do you see the glass half full or half empty?
EXERCISE: Ask a minimum of 3 people what they think YOU DO. Ask them if they would be willing to tell you about how they chose and ♥MIRROR them asking a few ‘tell me mores’ – TMM’s.
Share what you learnt about yourself doing the exercise.
What are the LENS / FILTERS that you view your world through? It is important to become aware of your own bias, your view of the world, which is largely unconscious.
“Your view of the world is shaped by your experience and is therefore highly biased toward your point of view…….… The more an association is made, the more it increases the probability that you will make the same association in the future. We have thousands of different associations and memories based on our past experiences.” (p.128)
from Dr. ♡Patricia Love and Dr. ♡Steven Stosny’s book How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Love Beyond Words or the paperback version in Australia, titled Why Women Talk and Men Walk….
They use the example of what happens when we think of the word DOG:
– you may think of your dog,
– a particular breed of dog,
– a scary encounter with a dog,
– how your dog is your best friend… and so on and on.
So a dog is not just a dog – it is whatever MEANING we attach to it from our own experience……….
We experience everything through our own LENS and all we see is our own point of view!
– We experience what is wired inside us.
– We see what we have always seen,
– we hear what we have always heard, and
– we experience what we have always experienced.
The world is what we expect it to be.
It is important not to underestimate how strong these associations are. And unfortunately, the points of view that get us the behaviours and actions we don’t want are largely unconscious to us.
From earliest childhood, our brains are formed and physiologically wired according to what is repeated in the environment around us. Whatever is repeated over and over and modelled to us becomes our perception of who we are and what we can expect from the world. Scientific research on the brain shows that the neural pathways that are at the basis of our behaviour are formed in relation to the people who are significant to us as we are growing up. Caretakers are most crucial in shaping the child’s developing self-image and world-image.
Whatever is fired over and over gets wired.
So a good question to ask yourself is what were the models of ♡LOVE and relationships and connection that you were exposed to and influenced by?
According to ♡Pat and ♡Steven, citing neuroscience research:
“Once an association is made, it not only increases the probability that you will make that same association but also decreases the probability you will see it any other way. (p.131)… And … When you are wired to see negative, you will see negative!”
Or when you are wired to see the glass as half empty that is how you will see it…
So to change this what one needs to do is uncover your own templates/images of what you think life and committed relationships are all about and replace the ones that are not supporting you getting what you want.
♥MIRRORING EXERCISE: share how this post impacts you and what it brings up for you…
Todays’ Addition to my list of My ♥favourite things…..the amazing bodies of the beautiful ♡Sylvia and ♡Sarcha who are part of our blog community ……going from talking about the beautiful earth and Nature to today talking about beautiful women and their bodies……….♡Sylvia on the left and ♡Sarcha on the right………my body feels peaceful and nourished just looking at them….
I admire so much of both of these women’s discipline, passion and commitment to their yoga practice…..When I saw these photos of these lovelies something stirred in my body………. and as I am thinking and writing about this now what it is bringing up for me is my lack of discipline and commitment to my own body and physical well-being….
How I am not prioritising regular walking and my “I Can Do It Steps” and doing my daily ♡Donna Eden Energy Medicine routine….and how my body and my spirit misses me taking care of myself in those ways……how I keep putting it at the bottom of my list which in effect means they don’t get done.
I am in awe of how much daily practice we have to do before things become automatic…. how long it is before new routines become habits that we don’t have to think about doing….and by this I mean like the routine of cleaning my teeth….I just do it – I don’t have to remind myself to do it…… I was doing the above regularly when we were in Seattle and yet my practice has dwindled since we’ve got so much more busy since we’ve been back in Australia since July 4th.
Isn’t it wonderful how just being attracted to ♡Sylvia and ♡Sarcha’s photos has a message for me ……how our unconscious is talking to us all the time. Generally we don’t take the time to pay quality attention and listen and learn from it. Which in effect means we keep doing the same thing over and over……
A reminder that to change we need to act based on our insight/awareness and to choose SMART behaviours and start with baby steps and give ourselves “L” plates.
Calling on the Angel of WILLINGNESS I choose to reinstate taking care of my body and to do so I commit
– for the next 2 weeks to do the Energy Medicine routine a minimum of 3 times per week and
– to walk for a minimum of 10 minutes 3 times per week
And reminding myself that CHANGE takes time and practice, practice, practice, practice……….
Question for you: Is there a discipline calling you that you keep not answering? Is there a relationship practice or ♡TOOL that needs your committed attention and some new actions?
with gratitude for unexpected new uncoverings and looking forward to change, LOVE SUSIE♥