How it looks when a bushfire destroys your family home and life

♥LOVE NOTE – Sunday January 26, 2014

Hello dear Friends♡

A horrifying, horrendous, raging bushfire destroyed our family home.

Today is just 2 weeks since Sunday 12th January 2014.

Since that very very extremely hot Sunday.
I will never. ever. forget how hot it was.

I will never. ever. forget Sunday 12th January, 2014. It was the day of the Hills Parkerville-Stoneville Bushfire.

It is the day our house burned down.

Our beloved family home and 5 1/4 acre property of 35 years at Warm Fuzzy Hill.
To make it even worse it burned down on the 14th Anniversary of the death of my beloved partner ♡Russ of 25 years, my children’s father.

The S a m e Day.

I will never ever forget this is a most. significant. day.

It was a bush fire that became rapidly unpredictable and out of control.  Strong westerly winds pushing the blaze rapidly, burning fiercely along the sides of the Jane Brook creek and Heritage walk track that became like a fire tunnel. The same creek which is the bottom border of our property.

Around 400 hectares and 55 houses burned down that day.

Unimaginable destruction…such devastation…so so sad…so much loss…my heart keeps breaking wide open again as we daily remember more and more treasures that have been lost…that have burned to dust and rubble… Unbelievable.

It’s been 2 whole weeks now!! Yikes!!
Only 2 weeks!
Not 2 months.
Not 2 years.
Not 2 decades.
Nor 2 whatever is bigger than that.

Surely it has to be. Surely it’s been that long.

It is T-H-A-T big.

We feel like we have been through so much.

So unreal. surreal. not real.

Wondering how long it will take until it really “kicks in”.

How long will it take until I wake up feeling refreshed…and welcoming the day and are not both physically and emotionally aching…and in pain…and sad.

A very. very. long. long. time I think.

Did I say before I want it to ALL STOP…

to go away.

to have never happened.

to all be a bad dream. a nightmare.

a bad joke.

A horrible, horrifying, horrendous heartbreak is what it is.

Shattered pieces of my heart strewn in the debris and devastation of the broken china and the twisted metal and the melted glass and so many stories lost in the ashes,
of all the pages
of all the books
of all the photo albums

Now just white powdery ash and dust…And mess.

You have no idea the ♡LOVE and life those walls have held…

A gigantic LOSS…so much history and memories…It feels like it is more than just the destruction.

It is the death of our family home.

The home which contained most of the physical connection we had to our beloved ♡Russ who died 14. years. ago.

on. the. day. of. the. fire!!

My daughters and I are struggling to cope with this…almost like he has died over again.

There is a ginormous TO DO LIST to clean up and URGENT. THINGS. TO. DO. that the hours in the day are too short…feeling overwhelmed with all there is to attend to.

Some are mentioning that things can be re-built.

For me new things can be built. But NOT old things re-built.

It feels both excruciating as well as beneficial to honour and fully feel all of our loss.

We had to flee our Home and property and we were evacuated. With road blocks everywhere no one was allowed back into the area for days.

We had to wait anxiously for 2 days after the fire to find out whether our home had burned down.

And then on top of the disaster, the way we discovered our house had burned down was by finding the photo of our destroyed home online. And then the next day, it was blazoned across the front page of The Australian newspaper which my daughter picked up at the airport departure gates boarding her flight coming over from Melbourne .

Another huge shock for us. And powerless to do anything about it.

How do news services get to unfeelingly display such carnage without permission from the owners and making sure they are informed?  Totally disrespectful and cold and callous.

The picture below is our home from the air.

Feeling kindness and goodwill and generosity from so many…

Thank you. Thank you. and Thank you again.

With much  gratefull-ness from a very exhausted and sad Susie encircled by and wrapped in everybody’s ♡LOVE and prayers.♡ 

PHOTO STORY: Our sincere gratitude for the genorosity and talent of ♡Marc Russo for many of the above images. For his full Photo Story of the bushfire’s destruction check out his blog post here

UPDATE: Sunday 21 September, 2014, 9 months [36 weeks] Post Fire
Sharing a note to Marc♡
It is now September…and it is such a gift you have given in creating this album.
I have looked through these photos a few times over the months and am always so grateful to you for capturing the essence of the beauty in amongst the devastation and the ruins of all that our Warm Fuzzy Hill was to me and my family and the many who visited.
What I am noticing is I want to remember. I can’t forget anyway.
Everything about me remembers….
It is OK to remember.
It is sacred to remember.
It is healing to remember,
to be reminded of the Beauty. and ♡LOVE. and Joy. and Sanctuary. and my Safe Haven. My Home. Our Home.
Yes, It is healing to remember…♥
Your photo story will be cherished and read for years to come.
With gratitude and LOVE, Susie♡

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Many asked how they could help so an ACCOUNT for DONATIONS was set up.
Our deepest Appreciation and Gratitude for your support and caring. Thank You♡