♥LOVE NOTE – Tuesday, November 11th, 2014
Dear LOVE-Finders♡
GRATEFUL FOR IT ALL•*¨*•♫♪♡….
1. I am grateful that I am actually here at the keyboard typing, as right now even contemplating writing my daily 5 Things I Am Grateful for seems
so phony. false. fake. not genuine. and most inauthentic…
This is because all the biggest part of me wants to do is scream L O U D L Y
How damn shitty IT ALL IS!
And then go beat myself up for being so damn ungrateful and unconscious, or better still thinks An Evil Part…..
Why don’t we just dump it all over, and beat up ♡Shelton instead, who is the closest in range?
And really?? Why hasn’t he been able to fix all this already anyway?
He’s a Man, isn’t he?
Uh Oh, then I’m starting to think of the people – all four of you – who may read this, and after all you’ve done to faithfully support me…… And all I can do is be cranky and grumpy and groaning and complaining and foul mouthed….and criticising, judgmental AND sexist!!
WARNING – Achtung!! D.A.N.G.E.R Ahead!!
Proceed with Caution!
It all feels just so H A R D and I’m so dumb I can’t think S MA R T E R.
I hate it so much!
I’m whining and whinging and saying it again in gigantic and technicolour words
I DID. NOT. SIGN. UP. FOR. THIS!!!
How do I Un-Register?
Unsubscribe?
Where is the line at the end of the page that says Safe Unsubscribe?
Why is Everything, and I mean EVERY thing, soooooooo H.A.R.D?
Let’s Build A House
And/or we could renovate the Owl House which is the sole building that survived the January Blazing Inferno at Warm Fuzzy Hill.
Sure, can’t be that hard!…. Ha Ha 🙂
Think again!!
I AM NOT a builder or trades-person of ANY description! NO I AM NOT!
Certainly NOT a carpenter, cabinet-maker, architect, designer, plumber, electrician, concreter, tiler, plasterer, wall-renderer, joiner, roofer, glazier, painter and I could go on and on and on and on_____, ______, _____, _____, _______,_______, _______.
AND then NOT forgetting to add that other dimension of it being solar-passive and eco-friendly and ALL that! Of course…
So let’s forget house-building, thinks She-Who-Doesn’t-Know-How-To-Build-Etcetera – or insert any of the above!!…
L .I.G.H.T. BULB Moment!
Let’s BUY!! That can’t be so H.A.R.D!!
So scrolling, trolling, trudging through online Real Estate sites and trudging tramping, traipsing, trekking, on the Home-Buying-Trail throughout the district looking at Home Opens.
Fantasizing and letting my imagination run riot in all these houses that are The Home Opens:
– how my clothes would fit into madam’s built-in robe,
– sitting in that spa bath by candlelight,
– waking up looking out on that view,
– making the most delicious meal and entertaining guests in their fancy dining alfresco area,
– sipping green smoothies dipping my toes in that crystal clear pool water…
AND wondering how anyone in their right, or wrong, mind would choose that combination of colours of tiles / wall paint /floor coverings / curtains / kitchen cupboards / etc, etc!!!
Thinking how many things am I willing to compromise about just so I have somewhere, ….. anywhere to live.
Then there’s another suggestion.
What about a Caravan, Motor-home, RV?
And do you know how many different ones of them there are?
Seems like t.h.o.u.s.a.n.d.s!
Initial excitement at the freedom of it turned to more H.A.R.D. Work in a day or two…..because it quickly became
Another-Version-of-More-That-I-Don’t-Know-About!
And would need to learn for that to be An Option.
I’m getting E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D just writing about it allllllllll ….no wonder I feel tired all the time!
There’s plenty more I have on my plate but do you know what…..it was releasing me somewhat to write. Well it has stopped me feeling angry! But now it is just feeling strenuous and arduous, as I am imagining it is for you too, so enough!
I do write too as I also like to give some REAL sense of all there is for me to deal with rather than just showing The I Can-Do-It Days…….but I’ll have to do another installment another time.
For my other 4 Things I Am Grateful For – I am Grateful for 4 people who I imagine will read this – ♡Gaelia, ♡Lisa, ♡Natalie, and ♡Emily. Thank you. And if you don’t, I am grateful for you anyway ♥
Sorry for being dreary and grim and bleak and tedious. I’m truly wishing all that is good for you.
♡LOVE from a desolate and dismal Susie…
NOTE TO SELF:
“You must find the place inside you where nothing is impossible….”
Well today ♡Deepak that feels NOT possible. I am wondering if I missed out when those places were handed out Uh Oh!
Oh, and on this auspicious day of the 11th of the 11th we got our eviction notice for where we have been staying!
It is reeeeeeally time to move on and forward……..and choose something.
♡♡DAY 315 – Being-♡LOVE-and Being-Grateful for it All – only 50 more days to go! WoW!!
susies♥heartpathblog 
Oh Susie…first I will give you a hug, a great big one. And a ‘there there’ pat on the back. A foot massage, a pedicure, a box of chocolates…whatever your heart desires. And when you are sated with all these lovely things I will gently remind you that this too shall pass and everything will work itself out.
And then I will run like hell while you throw things at me screaming, “I don’t need no stinkin’ PollyAnna!!!” And then, lo and behold, you’ll feel so much better because throwing things felt good.
You’re welcome 🙂
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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Oh ♡Susanna Sweetums 🙂
Your playing with me and bestowal of said virtual gifts sure makes me smile and feel good and hits me right in the heart spot……. You got me♡…… and do you know running after you and throwing things also sounds pretty good……one day in real time maybe we will make that happen, ♡LOVE from a not-so-bleak-me wrapped in your great big hug and sated by your other indulgences♡
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Hang in there Susie x x x x x x xValue the possessions you have now x o x o
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Thanks for being there dear ♡Andrea.
Sometimes it really feels like hanging on for dear life riding this great big old hurtling up-and-down roller coaster…….. 🙂 And yes there is plenty to be grateful for…..including your beautiful LOVE-ing ♡
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I might not be one of your “four”, but I always read your blogs and always send a heartfelt rainbow of love to you. So when you see it grab the colour and take it into your heart. Love always Glenys xxxxx
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I appreciate you letting me know you are there ♡Glenys. It makes it so much lighter and easier knowing you are there!! ….Not really sure why but it just does………
When I take some time to reflect on it there is definitely ‘a little part’ of me that needs clearly obvious reassurance and connection right now….probably popping in and out of the basic need for attachment……so when she reaches she can feel ‘real people’ are there……
Facebook and all the other forms of social media can be so impersonal – with lots of people “visiting” and observing and knowing what is going on, yet the person they are visiting doesn’t know they are there and is not getting the feedback and “personal energy” which is so especially needed when one is in full on vulnerability…..
Right now being in my “adult brain” your image of the “heartfelt rainbow of ♡love” feels nurturing and goes straight to fill up my heart and soul as does your friendship……thank you muchly…..and my vulnerable self needs you to be more obvious from time to time and I wonder if you would leave a very obvious ‘heartfelt rainbow of ♡love’ Hello from time to time…
Thank you for that opportunity to work that out …….. ❤
By the way, been also thinking time to have a chat with ♡Glenys about your travelling days in your magnificent BUSKING as we toss around buying a Motorhome…
Much LOVE to 'She Who Should ALWAYS Be Obeyed' 🙂
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Dear Susie and Shelton….Although I don’t often write you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Yes it is an incomprehensible world of happenings and hurts and who on earth knows what it all means…what does “eviction notice ” mean ? Where are you staying ?
Trust, Susie. Trust in the wisdom and good of the Universe..you WILL heal. Here’s a little Runic wisdom for you ::
“Anger often masks hurt, fear or feelings of abandonment. So look beneath your anger and ask yourself : Am I angry because no one is listening ? Because no one is there for me ?Or is this fresh pain an old wound ? Whatever the case may be, welcome anger as information.Go into it, explore it, see where it is coming from and how it keeps you from saying what you need to say.”
My mantra for the issues on my plate is ::”focus on the moment I am blessed with, do all the best I can and do not be fixated on the outcome. ”
Trust, Susie. Trust that the good in the Universe enfolds and watches over you.
And the love and thanks of all those whom you have helped along the way.
Blessings….Helena.
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