‘Me-Time’ and Look. Look look LOOK around you♥

♥LOVE NOTE – Friday June 15th, 2012

Hello Special Ones♥

Such a beautiful Winter’s day today…..a sunny day after the heavy fierce storms…a day perfect for doing what I needed most…..just getting away……away from all the responsibilities…….all the demands……Just Being…….Life has felt so full on that I just had to…..

Just had ‘to escape’ out into our bush for a reviving looooooong walk…..♡Shelton and I together out in Nature…….breathing in the healing and alive energy of Mother Earth…….. so still and quiet yet the song of the creek and the birds serenading us….the air so refreshing and sweet……so rejuvenating……the amazing smell of the bush, of the eucalypts and wattles after the rain……lush growth and abundance all around…..Nature ever the transformer! So grateful….

Do you have days when you just have to get away?………

Walking, walking, walking….. following the creek…..ending up at The Falls in John Forrest National Park which were surging forth and gushing after our recent heavy winter rains…..

Just take a moment will you and zoom in on this picture…..What do you see? Says one of my dear BB’s [Blogging Buddies] ♡Susan Lobb-Porter:

Look. Look look LOOK around you.

“How to narrow my focus down to a piece of the whole,  And expand my world in the doing. How to find elements of design and beauty in what others would pass off as mundane……….”

♡Susan sweetums [who regularly nourishes and inspires me] wrote a post on Tuesday on her blog Oo La la! Living the Arty Life called On Seeing about her art teacher ♡Marion who taught her how to see…..She taught her to look for:

“The quality of a line. Or light. The indefinable something that sets one square inch off against another……”

Since then everywhere I am looking I am seeing through different eyes. I am normally one who does see “beauty in what others would pass off as mundane……….” yet since ♡Susan’s post it’s like she’s there on the walk with me saying “Look at this…….,”….. “Hey, what about over here…….”……

Out in an environment like the bush I am bombarded with line, colour, texture, depth, contrast, design, beauty………oh my gosh, how many colours of green or brown are there in the bush??………… Look at the shades of brown in the rocks at the Falls… the texture and the treasures in this rock pool….

……..and YES you guessed it! Play we did……..ALL sorts of things!…..

And here’s ♡Sheltini making a rock pile as a ♥Random Act of Art, LOVE & Kindness……

Don’t you just love a man who joins in and humours your ‘quirky’ endeavours!!!

‘Seeing with new eyes’ is a ♡TOOL/concept we teach in our relationship work.  Looking at ‘the other’ through the eyes of ♡LOVE….being  a ♡LOVE-Finder instead of a Fault-Finder. Looking with a different focus, through different filters/lens which will “expand my world in the doing….” 

Questions for you: Where do you go to rejuvenate? What do you do? What or who do you need to spend some time seeing with new eyes? 

♥MIRRORING TOPIC: Share with someone what touches or stands out for you in this post. ♥MIRROR each other for a minimum of 5 minutes your answers to the above questions.

There’s also lots of memories out here in the bush for me…….Winter was the main time we had family picnics and adventures up in the Hills when we were kids. We had much fun…….being ‘let loose’ in the bush to play…….climbing rocks, paddling in the creeks……..walking for hours on the miles and miles of the Mundaring Weir water pipes…..what fun and freedom we had back then when it was safe to let young children go off alone and play and explore in the bush….

 

And by the way – WooHoo!  – I celebrate me as it is ★Day 89 of my ★90 Day Walking Project!! I am thrilled!

AND how amazing it is! We were marveling that we had this whole magical place to ourselves – such a beautiful environment in other parts of the world would have heaps of tourists. It is the John Forrest National Park after all! Yay for Perth being an ‘isolated city’!! ♥♥

And one final Gift for me to cherish. It is remarkable how a simple act can cause such feelings of ♡LOVE…… on our return walk dear ♡Shelton had gone on ahead of me on the track and left me this message……..

★BIG NOTE here to all the men reading – I have found generally women feel very touched and ♡LOVE-d by heartfelt handmade gifts such as this message♡Shelton left me – especially when given ‘just because……’
Is that true for you women? Do you agree?

Hope you are getting out into Nature in your corner of the world and enjoying the Beauty, the Healing and the Lessons….

and finding LOVE everywhere…… ♥Blessings Susie

‎”One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.” ~ ♡Paulo Coelho

Being fully awake! Living with passion. Right ♥NOW!

♥LOVE TIP – Monday June 11th, 2012

Hello ♥FRIENDS,

{NOTE: dear ♥Subscribers please read at end of post first}

I’m sure there are some of you out there who are like me. Night Owls. It’s 3:00 AM. That’s 3 in the middle of the morning or night whichever way you look at it. In fact, it’s 10 past 3AM! Yikes!

You know, being on Facebook makes it difficult to remember there is such a thing as bedtime as at least half my ♥Friends live on the other ‘side’ of the planet where it is daytime when we have sleep time….there is a perpetual awake world!

Now I’m asking myself The Obvious Question. You see I’ve been writing… reading ….writing…….reflecting…..pondering……more writing. And now it is this late/early and I’m hungry. For food….? I think so. Do I go to bed? Or….Do I satisfy my internal nudging and stay up some more?

So, it’s a Yes. That’s Yes to hungry for food. I think……So I’m making a piece of toast layered with my favourite beetroot dip, next the hummus and sun dried tomato dip and then smeared with the thickest coating of the yummiest avocado…..and eating it.

Now, I do know if you’re really eating health-ily and consciously [which is ‘The Diet’ I aspire to follow] you’re not supposed to eat after Sunset…..and I’m guessing that means all the way till Sunrise…… And yet, that’s not what I am writing about, I remind myself….so I hereby retrieve myself from digressing onto That Topic back to what I started to write about.

And it’s A Yes to Staying Up. Not going to bed…..yet. What I Started To Write About is being in the ‘wee hours’ of the morning -now 3.40AM -……..Being in the middle of researching and reading and writing – and being awake! Yes. really awake! Being right here. Right NOW!

What I am in the middle of researching and reading and writing about is Soul Mates and I’m re-reading ♥Elizabeth Gilbert’s wonderful book Eat, Pray, Love and I must have been ‘influenced’ – you know in the ilk [isn’t ilk such a lovely word?] of subliminal persuading such as that that goes on in advertising – by this piece where she writes about one of her early morning ‘escapades’:

“I woke up at 2:00 AM with a heavy sigh and a physical hunger so deep I didn’t have any idea how to satisfy it. The lunatic cat who lives in my house was howling mournfully for some reason and I told him, “I know exactly how you feel.” I had to do something about my longing, so I got up, went to the kitchen in my nightgown, peeled a pound of potatoes, boiled them up, sliced them, fried them in butter, salted them generously and ate every bite of them – asking my body the whole while if it would please accept the satisfaction of a pound of friend potatoes in lieu of the fulfillment of lovemaking.” [pg 300]

Just wanted to say. Mine isn’t emotional eating. Nor in lieu of lovemaking. I’m totally emotionally full writing. This is how-do-you-fit-everything-into-a single-day? Or night as is the case.

This is another of the topics that ♥Elizabeth writes about. Having an amazing variety of  choices in life. How to fit it all into a day, a week, a month, a year, a life…..And I’m thinking I am inspired by how ♥Elizabeth took the year off to travel to and live in Italy, India and Bali….in her efforts to find balance in her life. Yes I am inspired. Much More than inspired when I think about it. Take-A-Whole-Year-Off to explore who she is and what she wants in her life! Absolutely amazing and completely indulgent. And……. actually, there isn’t a word I can come up with that adequately describes Such An Act. An Act of self-♥LOVE…..of self-care, of___________. Definitely courageous. I am impressed. I am influenced.

After reading Eat, Pray, Love, ♥Jane [also influenced] asked herself one question—why am I not living with passion? So she made a list of all the things she wanted to do in her life. Then the inevitable question pops up – How can she go through her list without becoming self-centered or selfish?

“In Mandarin Chinese, they have two words for selfish,”
“One means doing that which is beneficial to you.
The other means hoarding, greedy and cruel.” responds Elizabeth.

What a good distinction. ♥Elizabeth suggest ♥Jane looks at her list and asks herself if she is being greedy or if the activity is beneficial to her:

“When you operate from a place of doing those things that help you step into your own worth, when you fill up your own skin with yourself, that alone becomes your offering…..Every single person that you meet, you transmit that to. Be a good example for how to live a happy, wonderful, blessed life.”

Question for you: what passion of yours are you not living? Make a list of of all the things you want to do in your life.

For some it is very hard to make a list of what they want.  Is it for you? This step is essential as changing your life starts with you figuring out what you Do Want. 

EXERCISE: To find out what you Do Want make a List of Your Don’t Wants. Do this for just one area of your life or for all areas – such as relationships, health, fitness, finances, career/business, family, spiritual, social, Other…..Put all your Don’t Wants on left column on page and then on right side turn those Don’t Wants into Do Wants.

For Example: area of ♥My Ideal Relationship:
Don’t Want – they don’t pay attention and tune in to me
Do Want – gives me undivided attention and is attuned to me

♥MIRRORING TOPIC: Share with someone the impact of this post. ♥MIRROR each other for a minimum of 5 minutes about the things you want to do in your life and what passion(s) of yours you are not living. What is ONE thing you will start experimenting with?

My suggestion is to start with ONE item on your list. Create a strategy of how you will achieve that. Your commitment to the strategy is more important that the strategy itself. Creating a ‘live’ PLAN listing all the things you want in order of importance to you is also good.
– focus on doing them ONE at a time.
– the ‘live’ PLAN is important as when information and ideas come up about other items put it into your PLAN at the right point of priority and then forget about it until it is at the top of your list of things to do.

Ooops it’s now 4:40 AM and I say out loud Go To Bed! So I am! And Yes more on Soul Mates and other ♥Elizabeth Gilbert inspired topics another time. Anyone interested to read or re-read Eat, Pray, Love along with me?………

Good-night, Good-day, with ♥LOVE and passion, Susie♥

My dear ♥Subscribers – my Apologies! You were emailed an incomplete post. I did the ‘Horror Of All Horror Things’ last night – first time in 227 posts – I hit the Publish Button instead of the Preview Button and my incomplete finished blog post got sent to you!!! ): That’s a risk when one is tired and weary! Then on top of that straight away after it got sent off “serendipitously” the power and Internet WENT OFF. The rain and the wind were raging outside – we’ve been having unprecedented wind and thunder and lightning storms here in West Australia over the last few days – so I haven’t been able to correct it before now. I request you please disregard and delete that last email. Fortunately the Internet connections stayed long enough for me to delete it off the blog.

contemplating…..& inhaling ♥LOVE, exhaling ♥Gratitude

♥LOVE TIP – Thursday June 7th, 2012

Hello dear Ones♥

Today it has been bucketing down – you know sky opening up…….Thunder. Lightning. Hail. RAINING……RAINING…..RAINING…….And our little winter creek that was a DRY EMPTY bed yesterday is now barreling along…even spilling over the banks in places….

Doesn’t seeing a creek make the little kid part of you start jumping up and down….like it’s time TO PLAY………Come on own up! You’re not too old. Or too big. Or too grown up. Well ♥Shelton and I aren’t too old, too big or too grown up to …………….. 🙂

Serendipitously today one of my Facebook Friends posted this great pic and quote:

She asked: – What is the one thing you can change in your life today that will make all the difference?

My answer straight away was : One thing I can change in my life today that will make all the difference is seeing the raindrops on the trees and bushes as jewels instead of getting annoyed because it is raining!……

And remarkably not too long after that the rain stopped for a while. A clear blue sky. The sun shining……. So we went for a very beautiful walk…..with the raindrops sparkling…..

Question for you: What is the one thing you can change in your life today that will make all the difference?

My lessons at the moment are about being ♥Grateful for every single breath as I watch my brother labouring as he takes each breath….. being ♥Grateful for every step I take as he is unable to walk now…. The lessons in CAPITAL LETTERS are about how crucial it is to fully live life and to have ♥Gratitude for every single thing/ for everyone♥….to not take anything/anyone for granted…..

The serendipitous gifts continued to arrive…. This time a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh:

“One friend asked me, “How can I force myself to smile when I am filled with sorrow? It isn’t natural.” I told her she must be able to smile to her sorrow, because we are more than our sorrow. A human being is like a television set with millions of channels. If we turn the Buddha on, we are the Buddha. If we turn sorrow on then we are sorrow. If we turn a smile on, we really are the smile. We can not let just one channel dominate us. We have the seed of everything in us, and we have to seize the situation in our hand, to recover our own sovereignty.” 

Wise words. It is OK to smile. And to laugh. It is OK to play in the creek and the rain today………….even though my brother is dying.  I exhale ♥Gratitude.

My message to all and the ♥Gift I left on the track – my ♥RAAK – ♥Random Act of ♥Art and  ♥Kindness……

inhaling ♥LOVE, exhaling ♥Gratitude, Susie♥

♡believe you can and you will – what do you tell yourself?

♡LOVE TIP – Monday June 4th, 2012 

Hello all you special Souls♥

Question for you: What is a challenge for you to believe you can do it?  What do you tell yourself? What new message will you replace your old belief with?

May you experience each new day as a Blessing. May you create a path of ♡Beauty before you and dance into reality your precious Dreams and Visions. 

♡LOVE and Encouragement, Susie♥

3 SUPER i-n-s-p-i-r-i-n-g women!

♥LOVE TIP – Sunday June 3rd, 2012 

Hello dear Folks♥

Here is a real treat of  3 SUPER i-n-s-p-i-r-i-n-g women! All elders! These amazing women have both ‘life in their years‘ as well as ‘years in their life’!

How wonderful it is that there are just soooooooooooo many amazing people inspiring us to be all that we can be!!

What stands out for me so much with these remarkable women is that each one of them is M-O-V-I-N-G….Essential to living life fully….And moving is one of the most important thing to do when we feel stuck…..

♥Peggy McAlpine at amazing 104-years-old is

The Oldest Female to Paraglide Tandem

She reclaimed the World Record as the World’s Oldest Paraglider title in Cyprus in April. This was her second attempt to claim the title!! For more info read here….. What a ♥De-Light she is…A Living Monument.

____________________________________________

My Friend MAIA♥

♥Julia Warr, artist and film maker, shot this next film in Fire Island, New York, [4min. 23 sec] and captures ♥Maia Helles, a Russian ballet dancer at 95 who remains independent, healthy and as fit as a forty year old.

♥Maia exudes a feeling of ease, serenity and beauty….. Says Maia, “My secret for long life is simplicity and work and enjoyment”

Film by Julia Warr and Music by Lola Perrin

____________________________________________

86-year old ♥Johanna Quaas demonstration on FX – “Turnier Der Meister” Cottbus 2012

___________________________________________

Wow! Nothing is impossible, thinks I… 🙂 ……..Such remarkable ladies – and having so much fun!!

A really important point I do want to include here is that exercise can be as good as, or better than, antidepressants for treating depression. Many clinical trials show that people with major depression who regularly exercise get better at the same rate as they do with antidepressants. Check out this link. A good topic for another post! But quite simply, if you or someone you care about is depressed start an exercise/movement program…..

Remember to use the wonderful strategy of micro-MOVE-ments…...created by the lovely ♥SARK and start with tiny, tiny little steps….

 

I thought this was great and couldn’t resist adding it:  Pablo Casals [1876 – 1973], probably the greatest cellist ever, when asked why he continued to practice the cello three hours a day replied [then aged 93], “I’m beginning to notice some improvement…”

 

I’ve been hunting for and gathering together these videos for a while now and only just found the last one a few days ago. Posting them now seems especially relevant as we were called to return early from our visit to Melbourne on Friday as my brother ♥Malcolm is in the final stages of a two year struggle with cancer and is possibly close to death. Dying and death certainly puts Life into a different perspective!……..

Please shower my brother with ♥LOVE-ing healing energy and blessings and hold an ♥INTENTION for him to experience that which is for his highest good…..I visualize him wrapped in feelings of peacefulness, calm, tranquility and above all ♥LOVE……Thank you in advance for your intentions/prayers and all that you are doing to promote healing.

I offer an invitation for you to do a reckoning of what you have been putting off…….where the life in your years is lacking…. Abe Lincoln’s quote “It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years!” is very powerful.

Question for you: What have you been putting off that needs your attention now? What are you waiting for the future to do?

♥MIRRORING TOPIC: Share with someone the impact of the above. ♥MIRROR each other for a minimum of 5 minutes about one thing you are going to start experimenting with to bring more life in your years…..

Happy Sunday!………May you be enjoying ‘the life in your years!’ ♥LOVE, Susie.

truly wonderful♥ ………

our hidden personal land mines – calling in the bomb disposal unit

♥LOVE TIP – Monday 28th May, 2012

Greetings dear Friends♥

I was thinking about what I wrote in the last post about the idea that when we get reactive to anyone/anything it is because of what is inside us and whoever we are reacting to in the outside world is just metaphorically speaking reaching inside us and pulling our trigger on the gun inside us…….

Another metaphor I find useful is to imagine that we have a number of Land Mines inside us that are hidden and when we interact with and ‘bump’ up against Those ‘Darlings’  in our relationships out in the world – it could be husbands or wives, partners – both in our personal and professional lives, children, parents, parents-in-law, work mates/colleagues, teachers, ex-partners or even ‘worse’ our partner’s ex-partner and/or their children, the neighbour we are arguing with about the damm fence or ____________ [insert any type of arguments/disputes]…………and many other diverse categories of people……Like for instance a woman who couldn’t watch TV as she was triggered by all the women on it – even the ones who were even ‘mildly’ attractive – as they ‘made her feel’ ugly and fat…..

So, in essence – ANYONE who triggers us along A CONTINUUM of on one end with a relatively low charge or activation – they bug/annoy/bother/frustrate/displease/irritate us – right to the other end where the charge is high where they infuriate/incense/rile/wind us up/drive us crazy or mad…..so reactive that it wouldn’t take much to run them over if they were in the way, or to run as far away in the other direction from them that you can ……

There is a wide range of responses people make when they get triggered and your own response will largely depend on what was modeled and taught to you as you were growing up that will have created repetitive, automatic ways of reacting that will be your default strategies…..in other words you won’t sit and think about and deliberate upon how you will act – it happens in much the same way as your breathing does – automatically and without you consciously choosing.

I appreciate the land mine metaphor and find it makes actions, that seem unintelligible and bizarre in both myself and in others, understandable……… so please humour me as I “milk it” a bit. Quoting Wikipedia:

“A land mine is an explosive device, concealed under or on the ground and designed to destroy or disable enemy targets as they pass over or near the device. Such devices are typically detonated automatically by way of pressure from the target stepping or driving on it…….The device may cause damage either by a direct blast or by fragments that are thrown by the blast.”

Our triggers [= land-mines] are concealed inside us and are designed to defend us from anything that is perceived as a threat [actual or perceived]. These land mines will detonate [= go off] automatically when someone out there in the world acts in a way [= says something(s) / does something(s)] that directly or indirectly creates pressure to cause the land mine to go off and explode.

The land mines are inside us and were ‘put there’ when we were growing up at the times we had experiences that felt negative to us and we as the child were unable to deal with and resolve them – we may have felt shocked or what happened felt unfair or abusive, threatening, attacking, neglectful, dismissive, insulting, disrespectful, rejecting, discounting, putting down, overwhelming….. any one of [or any combination of] these or similar feelings……

“Land mines were designed for two main uses: to create defensive tactical barriers, channeling attacking forces into predetermined fire zones or slowing an invasion force’s progress to allow reinforcements to arrive; and to act as passive weapons……when active defense of the area is not desirable or possible.”

Our personal land mines ‘create defensive tactical barriers’ that well and truly stop people from coming anywhere near us and from getting in……and in turn unfortunately often provokes a reaction from ‘the other’ to act in ways that are our worst ‘nightmare’……..At these times we are not using and acting from our conscious brain and frontal lobes and…...active defense of the area is not desirable or possible….”

Now imagine what would happen if the bomb disposal unit were alerted to a land mine and they came and stood on the side of the road or the field and judged and criticized the land mine and yelled at them about how stupid they are, how inappropriate it is for them to be there, how out-dated they are, how they are not needed, how the war is over………or in any other disparaging, attacking ways – you get the picture!!

Well this is what we do each time we judge and criticize either ‘the other’ or ourselves for defending in all the ways that we each do. It’s automatic and default – we are ALL programmed to act the ways we do. It is NOT about us that people behave the ways they do – it is ABOUT THEM and keeping themselves SAFE and defending against actual or perceived threat!!

A reminder that this process happens whether is it is an actual threat or a perceived threat. A ‘perceived threat’ sets off your alarm/defense system in the same way as an actual threat……..This will be about anything that activates us and we aren’t able to feel compassionate and respectful and validating of ‘the other’. 

Land mines…..“can remain dangerous many years after a conflict has ended……….Land mines continue to kill nearly 20,000 people every year, even decades after the end of the conflicts for which they were placed.”

Same for our personal land mines. In our unconscious we feel still in ‘the horror’ of the history years after a conflict has ended.…….which then influences and determines our day to day actions….Of course our personal land mines don’t explode to the degree that people lose their lives and limbs when they step on them…..and yet it can feel like that! People often end up feeling very dead emotionally when they are living their lives out of out-dated toxic beliefs about themselves and people in relation to them.  

Let’s take a BIG Example – being threatened by an ex-partner or by your partner’s parents who judge you and have a perception of you that puts you ‘in a bad light’ which unfairly tarnishes your reputation. They may even be openly saying criticizing words about you. They have an opinion about you (or circumstances involving you) that is simply their belief/opinion/story about things……

You react to this. People can [and do] act righteously and be furious and outraged and are triggered in response and can continue to be so for many years. If you did do what they are saying then it is your job to be accountable and repair your part in it. If you didn’t and you are still reactive around them or even just thinking about it or them it is about you and they have stepped on a land mine that is inside you!

They have given you a ♥GIFT of uncovering unresolved negative material inside you!! It needs your focused undivided ♥LOVE-ing attention. It’s time to call in the bomb squad to dismantle it or explode it in a safe manner………And not do what we normally do which is make it about ‘the other’ being ___________!!! – insert your negative describing word! This wastes our available energy to deal with and resolve the problem or issue. 

Question for you: what are some of your most intense triggers / land mines? Who are some of the people who tread on/detonate them? What do you need to discharge/ defuse/ neutralize the charge? What do you do to aggravate/ make worse / inflame the trigger?

I wish you successful uncoverings and discoverings and gentleness and caring while you do so. Tread lightly whether the land mines are in you or ‘the other’ remembering……...“The device may cause damage either by a direct blast or by fragments that are thrown by the blast.” 

With ♥LOVE and Blessings and Respect, Susie♥ 

release & replace stress, tension & trauma with an open flow of energy♥

♥LOVE TIP – Saturday 26th May, 2012 

Hello ♥LOVELIES,

We flew into cold, wet, grey, early-wintery, MELBOURNE on Thursday evening….yet don’t get me wrong though – we do still ♥LOVE being in Melbourne………

And this weekend we are participating over three days in a Workshop on Energy Tapping Techniques [SET] and Trauma Release Exercises [TRE] presented by the dynamic team of ♥Steve Wells who is an Energy Psychology pioneer  [http://www.eftdownunder.com] and ♥Richmond Heath, a Physiotherapist who is Australia’s only Level 3 TRE trainer [see http://www.traumareleaseexercises.com.au/]…

Richmond & Steve

For now I just want to share some basics and some highlights for me. Looking up the links will provide much for those eager for more….Both of these techniques are excellent ♥TOOLS and RESOURCES  to use when you are stuck/overwhelmed/despairing/off-track and as well for daily use to maintain a general overall state of emotional and physical well-being.

 

SET – Simple Energy Techniques, developed by Steve Wells and Dr. David Lake, a user-friendly energy tapping technique you can use to reduce your emotional stress.

TRE – Tension and Trauma Release Exercises, developed by David Berceli, PhD – A simple series of exercises that initiate your body’s natural shaking mechanism to release chronic stress and tension held in the muscles.

We have been learning about and exploring ways to combine the healing power of these two powerful techniques and practising them to facilitate gentle and effective relief of tension, trauma, anxiety, and general life stress. A really important aspect of it and a main reason I was attracted is how to relieve stress and trauma (of all kinds) without reliving it! For a full description of the workshop and more detail and links to both of these great guys and the work of each see http://www.eftdownunder.com/tretapmel.html. I do highly recommend this work.

Says Steve of his study in TRE: “Training in TRE reminded me of the crucial importance of the body in helping us to process what has happened to us – and in order to do this the material must be processed effectively – and also just how much tension we have stored in our muscles and cells about which we are not fully aware. This stress and tension is even now draining our life energy and preventing us from living our lives fully. I also realised the potential for expansion from clearing that tension, and accessing higher states, which we cannot access as long as our bodies are bound up by the tension of past traumatic experiences and the general stresses of living….” [My emphases]

Some highlights and learnings and reminders for me have been:

What you are overwhelmed by/triggered by /reacting to is WHAT IS IN YOUR OWN BODY.

This is whether is it is an actual threat or a perceived threat. A ‘perceived threat’ sets off your alarm/defense system in the same way as an actual threat. This is clearly shown by muscle testing when people are asked to tune into the energy of something that creates panic for them, for instance. Examples like public speaking, claustrophobia and fear of heights are easily seen yet emotional states like disapproval, abandonment, rejection and other emotional examples are not so observable. We develop patterns of tension and stress in our bodies. The real problem is our nervous system activation and what to do about calming it and discharging the activation.

I valued their very clear description of for instance, claustrophobia is fear of what it feels like inside my body when I am in a closed space – NOT a fear of closed spaces.
Rejection is fear of what it feels like inside my body when someone doesn’t choose me or pushes me away. Such important distinctions to make.

Every time you get triggered the gun is inside you! 
Rather than saying:- You have triggered me……. Replace it with and say:-
You have pulled my trigger that is inside me. Isn’t that a remarkably brilliant way of describing it? A great way of reminding yourself each time you are triggered that it is you that needs to do the work that is inside you!

Ask what is under threat?  Ask what has been challenged inside you?
If there is a charge/reaction there inside your body you will have an unresolved trauma or stress pattern inside you……
And you will be acting out of an unresolved habitual automatic, default trauma/tension/stress reaction.

This is one of the golden gifts of relationship. Every time in relationship that your buttons get pushed or ‘the other’ has pulled your trigger that is inside you, you have another chance to come face-to-face with and work with your unresolved “stuff”….but unfortunately what we mostly do is point the finger at ‘the other’ blaming them and saying it is their fault that we are feeling how we do.

The emotions you feel are what is true inside your own body……Our bodies are great messengers of our belief systems and subconscious mind. And what if you had the ability to allow yourself to feel the charge in your body when you get aroused? And to discharge it?……

What is especially valuable is both SET and TRE are techniques that anyone can learn and do themselves to work with and release their unresolved “stuff”…..

To quote http://www.traumareleaseexercises.com.au/tre-info/stress-vs-trauma/where you can find more detailed information but just to keep it simple here, recent research (called Polyvagal theory as developed by Dr Stephen Porgess) has shown our bodies have 3 main defence responses (neurological states):

1. social engagement – whether they are friend or foe – when we experience ‘the other’ as friend communication increases, our bodies are calm and relaxed and we are open and engaged and curious with whatever we are experiencing and growth and well-being is promoted
2. mobilisation: FIGHT or FLIGHT – we mobilise our energy to flee or fight an event – (and we are usually not very successful if the stressor is emotional or psychological in nature!)
3. immobilisation: FREEZE or FLOP – if we are unable to flee or fight the stressor (especially if it is an emotional experience within us) our bodies begin to shut down and collapse

Most people aren’t aware when they are in the FREEZE state. FREEZE can often look like being COMPLIANT. Richmond has taken on the practice of saying “I am feeling frozen” rather than “I am feeling nothing”…..and then getting curious about what is going on….. what has been triggered…….. When we can’t deal with how we feel in our bodies we will use various compulsive behaviours to stop ourselves from feeling it – which are all of our addictions. Good to check out whether you are in ‘calming down’ or ‘closing down’……

Many are unaware of the little stressors and triggers that send their bodies into defensive responses every day – “any event that is stressful that we don’t fully recover from to a completely calm and relaxed state (think of the body of a sleeping child, soft and totally relaxed) effectively becomes stored and held as tension in the body as a ‘mini trauma.’”……. Over time, these all build up and result in tension, holding and eventually pain and a range of chronic health conditions and stiffening rigid bodies which are thought of as ‘normal ageing’ rather than realising it is a sign that we are chronically in defensive body states……

Question for you: what impacts and stands out for you that you would like to explore more?

♥MIRRORING PRACTICE: Share your responses with another and have them ♥MIRROR you for a minimum of 5 minutes and then swap, or write about it in your journal.

Such great ♥TOOLS that I intend to learn fully and to use daily. I really get a sense of how the stiffness and inflexibility of parts of my body are related to deeper stuff and am expectant and excited to bring back freedom and flow.

Imagining a smooth and open flow of energy and movement and ♥LOVE for all, with Blessings, Susie♥

Music & songs as RAAK – Random Acts of Art & Kindness

♥LOVE TIP – Saturday 19th May, 2012 

Helloooooooo Lovelies all over the world ♡

♥Friends are so special in the way they lift us up and encourage, energize and enthuse us…..how they seem to ‘be programmed’ to drop by just when we need them….. either in the physical or by phoning us or by all the other wonderful means we have now with technology – texts, emails, Facebook messages and links, comments on blogs, Pinterest….and oodles of other mediums……

And so it was for me with my friend ♡Hilary starting my day with her post on Facebook  this morning sending a link to this special gift –

It’s now about 5 hours later and the music is still in the background in my mind…..Wow thinks I, how important it is to have a selection of pieces of music/songs on our iTunes or wherever we play our music j-u-s-t simply b-e-c-a-u-s-e!……..  AND also following on from my last post – it’s another way to inspire us when we are stuck/overwhelmed/despairing/off-track….

The lovely ♡Susan sweetums included dancing to LOUD music in her comment to that same post as did gorgeous ♡Hilary….all you lovely Comment-ers are helping me to compile a list of what to do when we are stuck/overwhelmed/despairing/off-track…please keep them coming…….

So another thing I am adding to that list is looking at and listening to inspiring YouTube Videos….just going back through the blog you will find plenty of mine. It has just occurred to me that I need to add inspiring Videos as a Category so that they are easy to find…… Just did it. inspiring Videos Category added. I’ll go back through the posts next week and add those posts with a video to the category.

Question for you: What Music, Songs, and Videos inspire, enthuse, energize, revitalize, rejuvenate and motivate you AND especially which ones when you are stuck/ bogged-down/overwhelmed /off-track / despairing/…… Feeling helpless/ hopeless/ like giving up/ weighed down……….?

♥MIRRORING PRACTICE: Share your responses with another and have them ♥MIRROR you for a minimum of 5 minutes and then swap, or write about it in your journal. Please share the links to your favourites in the comments below.

To me what these folks in the video are doing is a ♥Random Act of Kindness or as well I would call it a ♥Random Act of Art& Kindness – a RAAK! 

I am giving a Big Shout Out of Gratitude to all the musicians in the world. How much ♥JOY and Delight and Nourishment and Healing you bring to so many…..

There are many musicians that I ♡LOVE who nourish & fill my soul. The very beautiful♡Chloe Goodchild is one of them.  Please visit http://www.thenakedvoice.com to find out more about the music and work of ♡Chloe and The Naked Voice…For those of you in London where she is based, or Dublin where she visits regularly, if you can catch any of her live concerts or trainings it would be amazing. She’s truly a gorgeous spirit! Incredibly healing. We spent 5 days singing with her up at the Hollyhock Retreat Centre in British Columbia a couple of years ago. We will make a trip to England one day just to do some more work with her…..Enjoy her chant Om Tara.

Woman of the wisdom tree
Goddess of humanity
Singing of the unity we long for
Mother of Eternity
Naked in her mystery
Singing of the unity we long for
Fierce and gentle, wild and free
Simple in her majesty
Dancing in the unity we long for

The way I see it doing whatever we need to do to be happy and ♡LOVE-ing and kind isn’t really optional either for ourselves or to the people around us……..Quoting ♡Lynne McTaggart:  

“Few of us are conscious enough to recognize how contagious our thoughts are and how deeply they affect others. After all, your thoughts are affecting everything and everybody at every moment.

For instance, did you know that your negative thinking affects the major organs of those you associate with — even their ability to fight disease? Or that when you are unhappy (even without showing it), you are unconsciously affecting everyone with whom you come into contact and in turn their entire network of contacts — for the worst?”

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥May your day be full of precious sounds and melodies, JOY-fully, Susie♥

“Begin today.
Declare out loud to the universe that you are willing to let go of struggle and eager to learn through joy.” ~ ♥Sarah Ban Breathnach

NOTE: Wondering if you understand Categories and Tags that you see at the bottom of the post. If you don’t leave a comment and I’ll include some info about them.

what inspires you when you are stuck/overwhelmed/despairing/off-track?

♥LOVE TIP – Monday May 14th, 2012 

Hello FRIENDS♥

I have found that Inspiration and Encouragement can come in many forms and from many different sources and arrive when we are least expecting it………….

Spirit is generous!…. Like, for example just a couple of hours ago I came out of a meeting with my assistant where we were discussing and planning our 90 Day Action Plan for our business. I was feeling generally unclear and overwhelmed with all the tasks to do with regards to re-designing our business to take a new direction which includes new branding, creating a new website, designing new courses – both face-to-face and webinars and e-courses, new brochures, etc, etc, etc, etc…..all of this happening at the same time as continuing in our regular day-to-day business tasks as well as planning for our upcoming Events……….”It’s too much, can’t do it……..”  a voice in my brain is telling me……….”let’s just go on with what we have always done…….”

So with these words noisily in my head I turn to check my emails and right there at the top of the Inbox is my daily Biz Tip of The Day: “Success is like an airplane: most of the energy is spent getting off the ground”….Hilton Johnson……..Oh thank you. I remember we’ve done it all before. We CAN get off the ground again…….. 🙂

AND as well as being open to messages and gifts from Spirit it is also good to have a store of Resources that inspire and motivate us when we most need it when our brain and feelings have shut down to seeing the possibilities and the positive and the clear path of direction ahead of us……..

There seems to be lots going on for people right now……As well as my own challenges I’m in touch with many people (both in my personal life and professionally) who are currently facing many difficult hardships (some of them life-threatening even)……….and others undertaking a range of tasks and projects to re-design and re-build their lives and relationships in many different ways so I thought it was timely to focus on the topic of Inspiration.

What and who are the resources, books, strategies, people, ♥TOOLS that you turn to that nurtures and feeds you when things feel impossible / stuck/ bogged-down/overwhelming /off-track / despairing/…… Feeling helpless/ hopeless/ like giving up/ like giving in / weighed down……….?

I would value this being a collaboration – like me sharing some ideas and you sharing too so that we can come up with a collection of Resources and bright ideas we can all turn to when we need some energy, encouragement, inspiration, enthusiasm, motivation………support……

My beautiful daughter ♥Freea [who like me is an avid collector of quotes] and I have shared this favourite quote  from Lewis Carroll for many years…..which has delighted and inspired and reminded us …Encouraged us. Enthused us……. Made us laugh…… Set us back on track…. you know THOSE times when things are feeling like they are stacking up or there are tasks that feel daunting and sometimes like very high mountains to climb….like you will need every bit of your motivation and determination and spirit and resources behind you…..

……..sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!!!!! would stand out……..and ring in my ears…………as I read the quote in messages from her……[she actually had it on the footer on her email for a while]……. which would get me to thinking:…..Oh well, one ‘impossible task‘ is certainly do-able!!

Question for you: What inspires and motivates you when you are stuck/ bogged-down/overwhelmed /off-track / despairing/…… Feeling helpless/ hopeless/ like giving up/ like giving in / weighed down……….?

♥MIRRORING PRACTICE: Share your responses with another and have them ♥MIRROR you for a minimum of 5 minutes and then swap, or write about it in your journal. And then share with us in the comments below.

So one thing that inspires me is Quotes which I have a large collection of………and another is hearing about inspiring people and their Stories so here’s a treat for you: Arthur’s Inspirational Transformation! – Never, Ever Give Up. 

Please read more of Arthur’s story here.

I look forward to receiving links to your favourite inspiring stories.

Imagining you surrounded by positive, uplifting energy…….. ♥Blessings to you, ♥LOVE Susie. 

Happiest Mother’s Day – your ♥LOVE-ing matters!

♥LOVE NOTE – Monday May 7th, 2012 

Hello Lovely ONES♥

 A Mother Understands What A Child does not say.

True for you or NOT? 

For many it is not true. Says K:

 “i have major issues with my mother. with one week til mother’s day. it’s getting painful. i don’t speak with my mother. she has hurt me too much in the past. i have forgiven and gone back to trying to forge a healthy relationship with her but it just doesn’t work. i have had years of psychotherapy to heal myself and it’s still a work in progress but all the while they do nothing to change or have healthy relationships with their children….” 

Such poignant sharing. Can you relate?

Mothers have such a tremendous impact on our lives. I invite you to reflect on what was or what is your relationship like with your mother?

In my work many come to explore their relationships with significant people in their early life. One of the most re-occurring and common themes people share is about estrangement and separation and alienation between them and their mothers.

There is much deep pain and disconnection. Many with aching, broken hearts and a longing for ♡LOVE, and yet this longing is often covered up by ‘a bravado’ and many false beliefs people have about themselves.

False beliefs and negative self-talk such as:-
I’m not lovable
I’m the problem
It doesn’t matter what I do it will never be good enough
I can’t rely on anybody
It’s all my fault
I’m a joke
I’m stupid
I don’t deserve…
I’m not worthy
I’m to blame
I don’t fit in
I don’t belong
There’s basically something wrong with me
Others will always let you down
I’m inadequate, inferior, defective
I don’t have a right to exist
You can’t trust anyone
And so on……and on….

Then I think about babies and little children and instantly images come of how precious and almost unbelievably beautiful these little beings are. How remarkable, how unique, how marvelous!!

Children aren’t born thinking such things about themselves!!

Children are born ready to ♡LOVE and to receive ♡LOVE.

So what happens?

I think about new parents, about new mothers……..and the first time they hold their babies and the deep amount of  ♡LOVE they feel…The promises they make to themselves that they will do whatever it takes to be the best parent they can.

And yet…. children don’t come with Instruction Books! AND parents, and all adults, come with a history…with ‘baggage’…core beliefs, opinions, behaviours, responses and an automatic defense system.

Are you a parent, as well as a daughter, or a son? Do you remember that first time you held your baby and the depth of ♡LOVE you felt?

The promises you made to yourself that you would do whatever it took to be the best parent you could?

And now…… without having had good Instruction Books, are you at a stage where your children don’t listen to you?

• And as well, what about the way you listen and the way you talk?
• Are you kind and gentle and respecting, valuing and validating? Do you pay attention to these?
• Do you have good communication skills?

Are you getting curious? What do you do or say in reaction to your children?  What sets you off? There is gold in your reactions.  Study your responses.  Do you see a pattern?

Your children can trigger your greatest nightmare or they can be your greatest teachers – it’s your choice.

All parents have times when they find themselves doing or saying things to their children that are against their deeper values.

“I don’t want to yell at my children, they just push my buttons and I get so mad I can’t seem to stop myself”…

• So what happens to this ♡LOVE and cherishing as they grow up? As we grew up? Where does the preciousness go, the sense of cherishment, the marvelling at their/our perfection.
• Where does that fierce sense of protection and caring and looking after go? The ♡LOVE-ing and being ♡LOVE-able and ♡LOVE-d…
• Why does the criticising start, the judgments…the complaining…the neglect?

And here we are again with childhood conditioning automatically and invisibly directing our lives. From earliest childhood, our brains as well as our parents’ brains, are formed and wired according to what is repeated in environments around us.

It is important to identify what is your unconscious childhood template of a ♡LOVE-ing parent-to-child relationship…as well as having an understanding of the unconscious template of our parents.

Childhood experiences affect parenting.

In the post Saturday September 17, 2011 – With what is your ♥child living?….I share a few of my favourite images to show how powerful this influence is.

Parenting programs need to include helping people to understand their emotional responses to their children and how their childhood experiences affect their parenting and how to change this if what they are doing isn’t working. And by working I mean that both the parent and the child are happy.

I value K sharing above so honestly reminding us that there are always many different experiences happening at once in relation to what can seem like a ‘neutral’ topic.

Her sharing painfully expresses that Mother’s Day can trigger and bring up much pain and hurt…..and yes this does show there is still healing to do…..and yes there are many ways to work with this wounding whether you are the child as K is, or if you are the mother….always such very tender and moving work.

Here’s an ♡EXERCISE for you to ‘play’ with:

Each day for the next 30 days for a minimum of 5 minutes visualize your mother relating to you in detail in any ways that you want her to:–
♥hear her saying to you the words you want to hear,
♥feel her touching you how you want,
♥see her being with you in ways that you want – the actions, the behaviours.
See/hear/feel/experience her doing what you long for….

You could even find images of what you want to be happening in magazines, on Google images, or you may even have photos of her being the ways you want in the past…and put them where you will regularly see them…or make a collage….or vision board.

An example in my life is one of the things that I wanted from my mother was to be able to sit either on the floor in front of her or on the couch next to her and put my head on her lap and have her stroke my hair.
We didn’t have a relationship that included that sort of affection and nurturing and she never did that for me…
So what I did was found an image in a magazine of what I wanted and visualized her doing just that for me with all the full body experiencing and feeling of being in the moment of it – the caressing, the tenderness, the gentleness, her taking the time….and did that over and over….

A result of doing this is that when I think of her (she’s dead now), I can bring up this image as a memory of her…..as well as having the body feeling of it…..

Questions for you:

• What is being touched in you as you read this post?
• As a child, what is the most important thing that you got from your mother?
• As a child, what were the things that you missed getting from your mother?
• As a parent what is/would be most important for you to pass onto your child(ren)?

♥MIRRORING PRACTICE: Share your responses with another and have them ♥MIRROR you for a minimum of 5 minutes and then swap, or write about it in your journal.

Imagine all mothers being filled with much joy and gratefulness when thinking of their children at whatever age they are.

And turning it around, imagine everyone feeling grateful for the extraordinary and magnificent human being their mother is.

Imagine how different the world would be if it was the norm for everyone to learn how to be a parent. How sad it is that we don’t prioritize and actually make it compulsory education for everyone to learn the information and ♡TOOLS and skills to navigate this most important journey – the foundation of everything else in our society.

Falling in ♡LOVE with our new babies is mostly easy…staying ♡LOVE-ing is another matter. Everyone needs to learn how.

Sending wishes for the ♥Happiest Mother’s Day to all our mothers who we at some time or another thought were the best Mum/Mom/Mama/Mumma/Mummy….in the whole wide world. How long since you really told them you ♡LOVE them?

My gratefulness to all mothers who truly are committed to being the best possible mother you can be. Raising happy and confident kids is one of the most important jobs we do – It lasts a lifetime!

Much LOVE and appreciation, Susie♥

For another post on Mothering  see:

A Tribute to ♥Motherhood – being a parent is one of the most important jobs you do. It lasts a lifetime! ♡

________________________

The celebration of Mother’s Day is this coming Sunday here in Australia and in other parts of the world and we have suggested ♥MOTHERS as a special FOCUS for the MAY 30 Day Being-♥LOVE Campaign.

Many have creatively accepted the challenge and have chosen a variety of tasks to do. If you are one of those participating I’m wondering how you are going after the first week and would welcome hearing your Updates….both the impact on yourself as well as whoever you are focusing on. Please share your stories with us. And as some people’s sharing shows, it may be bitter-sweet.