Grief….and the meaning of life♥

♥LOVE NOTE – Monday October 24, 2011

Hello dear People♡

I sit looking at this image and so many feelings just sit in the middle of my belly….and it’s like there are almost no words to describe what those feelings are.

I think of all the unrest and the pain in the larger world…….and I think of the hurt and pain in the couples relationships that I daily hear of as I facilitate them in their struggles….and closer to home, I think of the hurting and pain in my relationships with my loved ones that sometimes gets triggered by my and their misunderstanding and our automatic ‘instinct’ to protect and defend ourselves by using our old ‘survival strategies’ that pushes the other away…..and I feel deep sorrow and my heart aches.

Sometimes I am just not sure about the meaning of life….. it’s like I’m in a place of testing my existing belief structures to see if they are valid.

I turn to ♡Lynn Andrews’ Power Deck for some understanding and to make some meaning……. I draw the GRIEF card –

GRIEF: Grief deepens you. It allows you to explore the perimeters of your soul. Grief is the only gateway to certain levels of consciousness, and it is a hard taskmaster. Through grief you can explore every aspect of your dark side – anger, pain, abandonment, terror, loneliness; and these are aspects of the sacred wound that in our daily lives we usually try to ignore. Grief forces you to look at those parts of yourself that are not yet healed. If you can look at grief as a teaching, you will grow. The pain of grief is not the only teacher in this life, but if looked at properly, with awareness and an open heart, it is one of the greatest teachers of all. The seeds of wisdom and enlightenment are planted within the wounds of grief. What is lost can only come back to us again in higher ways.

And here are a few lines from a poem called GRIEF that I wrote back in 2000 about 6 months after the death of my partner ♡Russ…..we were together for 25 years

…..Screams inside my head
screams no-one wants to hear
no-one wants to see
they don’t even want to know.
How are you going? They ask
they really mean
sanitize it
make it nice
don’t really show me
of your grief
don’t remind me that my Beloveds
will also die
don’t remind me of all my own
locked-up hurt
of all the times my heart has ripped apart
of all the times my world has exploded
just keep it clean
keep it nice
so I just tell you I’m going fine…..

It amazes me sometimes where my posts come from in me…Just reflecting and wondering,

♡LOVE and BLESSINGS…. from a thoughtful and tender SUSIE.